Towards Tomorrow
by TheDragonQueen706
Summary: Social outcast, Irina Kasumi, is a Soul Reaper Academy student that's been labeled a genius. Near her graduation, her past becomes entwined with a Captain that saved her life fifty years ago. Except he's been hiding the truth of it all, making him want to make things right. Upon graduation, she is placed in his squad and a bond forms. Can he tell her and still keep her around?
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note: It's been several years since I last wrote a bleach story. I really hope you all enjoy reading it. Let me know what you think.**

Chapter 1:

 **Irina**

The day had finally come. It was the first day of my last year in the Soul Reaper Academy. A swirl of excitement and nervousness collided, fighting for dominance. My training would be so much more intense, I knew that; but there was no giving up now. There was just too much to fight for. Why? That really was the question.

My legs carried me down the hall into my first class of the day, Advanced Kidō Number Six. The second I walked into the room, eyes were instantly upon me in the form of all new people. The nerves were starting to get the better of me. The awkward stares were not something I had been prepared for. "Is that Irina Kasumi?" A girl whispered as my body passed her.

"Yeah, I heard she's quite the little genius. She was pushed forward through the years. Technically, this will only be here third year here." Another girl whispered.

It was all the same everywhere I went. The jealousy of others came out in waves, ranging from harsh words to actual physical confrontation. The fact was that I never asked to be pushed forward. I had been perfectly content with doing my time like everyone else; but the higher ups insisted I graduate as soon as possible. Probably because of the last battle the Seireitei had.

Taking my seat in the second row, I looked across the room to see others walk in. Ducking my head down, I ceased eye contact. The whispers were bad enough. I just couldn't handle anything else. "Good morning, final year students." The instructor announced walking into the room.

"Good morning, sir." We all greeted in return.

Gengorō Ōnabara was probably the most well known teacher in the entire school and I was thankful that I have had the privilege of having him as my teacher for most of my Kidō classes. He shifted his dark eyes directly in my direction. "It looks like we have a new face. Let me introduce to all of you, Irina Kasumi. She had been moved from a third year straight to sixth due to her abilities. I expect all of you to treat her that same as any other classmate."

I understood why he said such words. Last year I had a confrontation with a classmate that felt I shouldn't be there. He tormented me and I never fought back. Not once. The whispers started up once more after Gengorō made his instruction clear. "Why should we treat her the same? She'd privileged and teacher's pet." A guy behind me stated.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tightened my grip on the material of my pantleg. Doing my best to ignore it all, I listened to the lecture on the upper number kidō spells. I found it all to be interesting. Kidō was probably my favorite class followed by Zanjutsu. Something about holding my sword in my own hand was comforting to me.

"Can anyone tell me what the sixty-third spell in the hadō category is?"

There was nothing but silence throughout the entire room. I really didn't want to raise my hand, despite knowing the answer. The only person to answer all of his questions, since the class begun, was me.

His gaze searched the room to call upon a random person. In his search he called on the guy seated directly behind me. "Uh...I'm not sure, sure..." He answered shying away from the harsh stare. Then his eyes came in contact with mine.

"Irina, so you know?"

"It's Raikōhō." I answered softly.

"That's correct. Raikōhō is one of the spell you will be learning this year. Remember that."

The lecture continued on and so did the whispers behind me. Apparently, the smart ass didn't like to be shown up by a girl. Sexist jerk. My hand moved across the paper, writing every detail I felt was important down. The bell run, indicating the end of class. "Alright, quiz at the end of the week and then practice next week out on the grounds."

I waited for everyone else to leave before I attempted to retreat; but it wasn't without any death glares and rolling of the eyeballs. Once the last person stepped passed me, I started my descent down the stairs. "Irina." Gengorō called before I reached the exit.

"Yes..."

"Good job today. Don't let what others say bother you."

"You...heard..."

He nodded, indicating that he had indeed heard most of what the other students said about me. It was comforting to know that he cared enough about my education. A smile wormed it's way to my lips and sparked to life. It tucked a large chunk of my wavy ebony hair behind my ear to get it out of my light blue eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow." He stated before turning back to the papers on his desk.

My open class period was spent in the courtyard. I needed the peaceful tranquility of the trees and the sound of running water from the stream behind the building. My head rested against the bark of one of the largest trees in the entire yard. My eyes were closed in a resting position; but I was fully aware of everything around me, including the group of girls gossiping about some cute guy in their class.

I soon found myself drifting asleep inside my own mind. My newly issued Asauchi zanpakuto rested on my lap. Pretty soon I could hear nothing except whistling wind blowing. Once I opened my eyes, panic started to ensnare me. I was clearly not in the courtyard anymore.

"Where am I?" I asked myself.

"I'm surprised you don't know." A warm feminine voice flowed through the gusts of wind.

It confused me to hear someone else's voice. Taking a closer look at my surroundings, I realized that I was stranding in the middle of a forest. The wind filtered through the leaves, rustling them and causing it to sound like whispers from the heavens. The female voice was completely gone. Not a trace was left of it.

A sudden jolt sent me back into a black void. I struggled to open my eyes again, wondering what the hell had happened to me. "Irina!" someone called out to me and for some reason my body refused to obey my commands.

"Come on, Irina! Get up or you'll be late." The voice shouted again.

With one more push of willpower, my eyes flew open to see the head healer of the academy. Her warm features reassured me that I was fine. However, there was confusion presented directly on her face behind the gentle of her hazel eyes. She offered her hand out to me and I accepted it, no questions asked.

"You gave me a scare. You wouldn't wake up."

"I'm sorry. I really don't know what happened; but I need to get to class before I'm late. Thanks for waking me up."

I bolted from the courtyard with my sword in hand. My next class was Zanjutsu and I wasn't about to miss that one. Making it was seconds to spare, the other students looked less than thrilled to have my presence grace them. "Okay everyone, welcome to sixth year Zanjutsu. This year we will learn the advanced skills necessary for sword combat." The instructor explained.

Several students standing next to me fidgeted with their newly issued swords. I could understand their unease with the item. They knew that it takes long periods of training to successfully learn its name and some never would. That was always a fear of mine along with every other candidate whether they wanted to admit it or not. "Who would like to show me what they've learned so far?"

"I would, sir." A male said standing forward.

His short brown hair was spiked in all different directions and had a set of the darkest brown eyes that I've ever seen. The hushed whispers started up and for once, they weren't about me. It was about him. Rin Tosei, the top student in Zanjutsu from the new coming class. No doubt he would be fun to watch. "Irina Kasumi, show the class your skills."

Crap! Not what I wanted to have happen. What was with the teachers putting the spotlight on me. It was so not fair; but I was in no position to argue the ruling. Nervously, I stepped forward unsheathing my sword to stand across the room from Rin. His cocky grin was repulsive. He was so sure he'd beat me. That irritated me. He was clearly underestimating me.

"Begin!"

Rin instantly rushed towards me. My hands gripped the hilt tighter, preparing myself for the metal on metal collision. He slashed upward with one hand, attempting to end the session early. Countering him, I caught him with my own blade. He narrowed his eyes, not truly believing that I matched his move.

The sound of metal scrapping was just the same as nails on a chalkboard. The difference was that it excited me. I loved the sound. It got my heart pounding and my blood pumping. Rin backed away a moment before taking charge once more. Shifting my wrist slightly, I matched it again. Only this time, I slid to the floor beneath him using my free hand to push me up for another strike.

A frustrated growl emanated from Rin's throat. He barely blocked my attack from slicing into his back. All around us were gawking eyes. They were silent, not understanding why their top classmate wasn't already finished with me. The woman who wasn't supposed to be there. It became painfully obvious they hated me for what I was able to do and that hurt. A lot.

Holding my sword at the hilt, I could feel it pulse in my hand. It surprised me and was slightly confused at the sensation. Rin lunged forward one last time, determined to defeat me and subject himself to more praise. I hated to disappoint him, that just wasn't going to happen. _**"Irina..."**_ her voice called out again.

It startled me a little, making me shake when his blade connected with mine. I struggled against his upper body strength to push me backward. Narrowing my eyes, the concentration on my own power surfaced. Within a minute, Rin was shoved backward by my spiritual pressure.

When he got back to his feet, the perplexed look on his face told a story. I knew that he couldn't believe what just happened and I didn't blame him. I couldn't either, because it wasn't of my doing.

"Okay, I believe we've seen enough."

The instructor ended the session far earlier than I anticipated. I was glad though. I was ready to learn more. Rin bowed before me hesitantly. It was a sign of respect and that surprised me even more. Blinking several times before it hit me that I needed to do the same. He may not like me; but at least I gained his respect.

After class I walked the hall heading for my next class. Turning at a junction between crossing hallways, I stopped dead in my tracks. A full fledged Soul Reaper was speaking to all of my instructors. It seemed important, so I leaned against the wall unseen. I hated the thought of eavesdropping; but my curiosity was spiked now.

"Is there any students ready to graduate early?" He asked.

The question caught my breath in my throat. I turned my head to peak over the edge. His sandy blonde hair was short with two longer chunks left to frame either side of his face. From here, I couldn't make out any other features or a name. "Did something happen? You wouldn't be asking if something wasn't going on." Gengorō asked folding his arms over his chest.

"After the last battle, we lost so many personnel. We want to replenish our ranks. It's a preventative measure nothing more."

Somehow, I felt like the man was lying. I mean I knew the causalities were high; but I didn't think it was bad enough to ask for early graduates. It just seemed too fishy to me. All four of my instructors looked at each other for a moment, silently speaking their opinions. "There is probably two that could be ready in a week or two." Gengorō finally answered.

"Excellent. Who would those two be so I may report back to Head Captain Yamamoto?"

"Sixth year student Rin Tosei." My Zanjutsu instructor stated.

His name came as so surprise to me. His skills were impressive and he was heard about even to the freshmen students. I never dreamed I'd hear what came next. "We have somewhat of a genius here. She's moved from third year straight to sixth year."

My heart started to race. I was not ready to hear what they had in mind. Just because I moved through the years, it didn't mean I was ready to graduate this early. Were they insane? Could I really let them expose me? "Her name is Irina Kasumi."

Too late. My name was out there now. My shoulders slumped. If the other students didn't hate me enough, once they learned this information it would cause a major protest. I turned away from the conversation and continued on towards my next class. It wouldn't matter if I was late, the instructor wouldn't even be in the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note: Thanks goes to Shali(Guest) and thunderyoshi for the wonderful reviews. Thanks also goes to thunderyoshi for becoming a follower to this story.**

Chapter 2:

 **Irina**

My next two classes seemed to go on like a blur. I kept thinking back on the conversation with the Soul Reaper and my instructors. Was I really ready to be sent out into the Court Guard Squads? My answer to that was 'no'. "What am I going to do now?" I whispered to myself.

I had to get away and think clearly. There had to be a solution to what was about to happen. The courtyard was in my line of sight just as the sun was at the horizon line. The blend of orange, yellow and reds were beautiful, calming. My favorite tree was right in front of me when I stopped walking. Sitting down on the soft grass, I rested my sword across my lap and leaned my head back against the rough bark.

"Irina..." A faint whisper licked against my consciousness.

"Who is there?" I asked loosing the battle within myself once more.

The suction was the same as before. When I opened my eyes I was looking upon the same forest. Whispers bristled through the leaves and flowed around me, caressing my skin causing a shiver to run up my spine. I didn't understand what was going on. All I knew was the feeling of desperation washing over me, drowning all other emotions out of reach.

"Irina..." The voice called again.

"Hello?" I asked in return, swiftly turning my head from side to side.

A large gust of wind connected with my body, pushing me backward several steps before forming into a white cloud. I stood frozen in place unable to comprehend what was going on in front of my own eyes. I didn't grasp any of it.

The white cloud started to take shape, forming two large hind legs that were lion-like and two large front legs that were eagle-like. Sharp black talons bit down on the oversized rock the cloud was hovering over. A lion tail formed along with the light brown body. Two huge eagle-like wings sprouted from the cloud. The wings thrusted forward causing the rest of the cloud to disperse, revealing an eagle head.

"Oh my..." I gasped holding a hand over my mouth.

A loud screeching cry echoed throughout the entire space. I knew this creature was powerful. The power sent goosebumps all over my skin. "It's so good to be seen by you, Irina..." The creature spoke in the gentlest female voice I think I've ever heard.

The second she said my name, the familiarity rushed back to me and hit me dead in the chest. I knew who she was. A smile tugged at my lips realizing the revelation. "I could feel your desperation. What is the problem?" She asked sitting down on her behind folding her wings inward and wrapped her tail around her legs.

Was she serious? She expected me to talk. I didn't even know her name, not that I thought that task would be easy to gain. Her ruby colored eyes bore into me, begging me to speak. How could I deny my own zanpakuto the joy of conversation.

"Well...I overheard something today..." I answered reluctantly.

"They want you to graduate early, correct?"

I was surprised that she already knew of my predicament without my saying so. Her eyes softened the second burning tears rolled down my cheeks. Did she believe that I was truly ready to be thrown in with the big leagues? This wasn't something to be taken lightly. "Yes..." I whispered looking away from her gaze.

"Are you worried?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't."

She blinked several times before lifting her behind from the rock. I couldn't seem to move at all. My zanpukuto spirit held such power and it was comforting all the same. Her talons scrapped across the stone as she walked closer to me. My fingers itched to touch the soft feathers of her head. "Your desperation called to me. What is it you seek, Irina?"

"I seek nothing except the strength to protect those in need. I never want to see other suffer like I had. There is no greater pain than to watch everyone you ever loved get ripped from you. I vowed that I'd never let that happen to anyone else if I could help it."

A smile appeared across my zanpakuto's face. Her sharp beak upturned. Was she happy with my confession? She stopped walking, standing only inches away from my hand. Unconsciously, I reached my hand the rest of the way out. The white feathers on the top of her head were indeed soft. "You have the heart of a true Soul Reaper. I will grant you the power you seek."

"What makes me so worthy?"

"Sill girl, I am a part of you. I know your heart. My name is Eakattā, call upon me when you need me."

Another guest of wind forced me back to my own reality. My sword was still neatly placed upon my lap; but it looked different. Instead of the traditional hilt color of black, it was now ruby red just like Eakattā's eyes. The guard was formed into a unique Egyptian design. Spiritual pressure leaked off the sheathed blade but quickly faded away.

"Thank you..." I whispered before standing up from my position on the ground.

 **The Soul Society, Seireitei**

Squad One was slightly cramped with the addition of ten other Captains. Squad Ten was currently vacant along with Squad Twelve. There was so much commotion and rumors about who would fill the empty spots; but that wasn't what the meeting was about and everyone knew it.

"I know the vacancies worry some of you. Rest assured that the search is continuing as it should be." Yamamoto stated.

"Have you come close to choosing someone?" Retsu Unohana, of Squad Four, asked tenderly.

"Names, nothing more yet. The reason I called all of you here is that there is a need for new members. After the last battle, we lost too many good men and women..."

Shinji, of Squad Five, mentally groaned. He knew exactly where all of this was going. Knowing the Head Captain, he had already sent someone to the Academy asking for early graduates. The man did it at least twice every twenty years. His eyes shifted towards the other Captains. Most showed no emotion at all and then there were some that were annoyed with the whole thing. Kensei Muguruma, of Squad Nine and Kenpachi Kiganjo, of Squad Eleven were among those irritated.

"Are you asking for early graduates, sir?" Jushiro Ukitake, of Squad Thirteen, asked taking a simple step forward out of line of odd numbers.

"Yes. There are two currently ready. The point of this meeting is to pinpoint where they are needed most."

No one said a word. They were waiting for something more. Like who the two individuals were and what they were able to do. The only thing they got were a set of names. "The first candidate is Rin Tosei, sixth year student. The second was said to be a genius. She moved from third year to sixth. Her name is Irina Kasumi." A messenger stated before vanishing from the Head Captain's presence.

"If you need another member, look into them and put in the official paperwork necessary. This meeting is dismissed."

Shinji knew that he needed several new squad members; but going through the proper channels was such a pain. Stepping outside the barracks, he was met by a set of curious eyes. His lieutenant, Sosuke Aizen, greeted him by asking questions. "How did the meeting go?"

"Fine..."

"Just fine?"

It was one thing he despised about his Lieutenant. He was always inquisitive. Always nitpicking. Sometimes it drove him crazy; but thinking back on the meeting, Irina's name caught his attention. He wondered if she was the girl who lost her entire family almost fifty years ago. The only reason he remembered such details was because he had been in charge of the unit sent to kill the horde of hollows that attacked that dreadful night.

"Sir, is everything alright?" Sosuke asked.

"Fine, let's go..." Shinji replied shortly.

His long blonde hair blew into his face as he was met with a sudden gust of wind. Sosuke knew something was amiss with his Captain. Usually after a meeting, he was brash and rude. Particularly getting into arguments with the lieutenant of Squad Twelve. "Old man found two early graduates and wants the squads in need of members to go through the proper channels, including a visit to the Academy." Shinji finally informed the moment they were back in their own barracks.

"We do need members, sir..."

"I'm aware. I'll be visiting the Academy tomorrow, so you'll be in charge while I'm gone."

"Yes, sir."

Shinji turned his back on his subordinate. His mind was already a chaotic mess and being annoyed with everything else was not helping. He was really hoping the girl was not the same one. He honestly had no idea what he'd tell her if she recognized him. The birds chirped sweetly on the ledge of the open window of his office.

 _ **"It's time to drown in work."**_ He mentally thought, starting to work on the semi-large stack of papers. A sudden burst of spiritual pressure made him look up from his work a moment only to be smacked in the face, knocking him directly to the floor in a loud thump.

"Hey Shinji, missed you at the meeting."

"Hiyori..."

"What the hell is your problem? You left before everyone else, so unlike you."

He was not really in the mood to deal with her childish fits; but on the other hand it got his mind off what was really bothering him. Her blonde hair was pulled up into high pigtails with honey brown eyes that seemed so innocent. "None of your business!" Shinji shouted getting back up from the floor.

"Oh please." Hiyori replied rolling her eyes at him.

"Why you little..."

The argument was quickly interrupted by Sosuke walking into the office. A look of bewilderment was upon his face. It wasn't anything new between them; but Shinji was not himself. Even Hiyori knew that. "Sorry to intrude, sir; but I brought you my finished work."

"Oh goody..." Shinji said nonchalantly rolling his eyes.

"Don't get your panties in a twist over the girl named a candidate. That was fifty years ago. If it's the same girl, she probably doesn't even remember you." Hiyori said before walking out of the room.

Shinji blinked several times not understanding where the rare moment of sympathy came from. Well as close to sympathy as Hiyori could get. More importantly, where she learned of the information given at the Captain's meeting. He turned to glare at his lieutenant. Today was just not his day at all.

Hiyori knew Shinji well enough to know when something was really bothering him. Irina Kasumi named candidate was definitely bothering him. Fifty years was such a long time to harbor such regret. She never wanted to think about how it would really feel. "Miss Sarugaki." A soft calm voice called.

"Sosuke...what do you want?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"Maybe you could enlighten me on what Captain Hirako's problem seems to be..."

Hiyori blinked a couple of times, trying to register what the man was really asking of her. She questioned if it would really do any good to spill Shinji's biggest regret. The answer to that was obviously 'no'. "Sorry; but don't know anything. Maybe you should just ask him yourself." She finally admitted and turned her back to him.

When she was finally far enough away form Sosuke's nosy interrogation, her throat clamped as she swallowed the lump caught. "He had to know I was lying. Damnit Shinji, why must you feel the need to have conscious." She whispered before turning down the path that would lead her back to Squad Twelve.


	3. Chapter 3

Author Note: Thanks goes to thunderyoshi for another wonderful review. Thanks also goes to SAKIHUPASA15 for becoming a follower to this story.

Chapter 3:

 **Shinji**

Drowning myself in work wasn't working. The only thing I could think of was the what ifs. What if it was the girl? And if it was, what if she recognized me? What the hell was I going to do then? Shaking my head violently, I tried to force the memories out of my head; but of course, it was a wasted effort.

 _Fifty years ago to date was the day a young girl lost everything dear to her for the sake of my selfish ego and cockiness. Still relevantly new to my position of Captain, old man put me in charge of a squad consisting of members from all thirteen squads. Hiyori was among them. I don't know why I hesitated in giving the order to attack; but the screams froze me completely. A girl with short ebony hair and light blue eyes was pleading for help, begging on her knees to any deity that would care to listen._

 _The screech from the hollow snapped me out of my frozen state. The dirty creature was calling for help. The village was helpless to do anything at all except run. "Captian Hirako! We must intervene!" A member stated in a pleading manor._

" _Remember your place! Need I remind you who is in charge of this investigation." I shouted._

 _A shrilling scream echoed through my ears and dived straight to my heart. I swiftly turned to see the hollows feasting on the village people. Raising my hand, I signaled for the attack to commence. It didn't take long for the hollows to scatter and disperse. My blade sank into the flesh of the nearest beast attempting to claim the life of that girl._

 _The defeated hollow began to fade away into the cool winter air. The girl next to me shivered in fear. Blood soaked her clothes and smudged against the pale color of her face. Her eyes never turned away from the sight of the slaughter I was too stupid to stop. I could have prevented this; but instead of listening to the other members in my current squad, I chose to be selfish._

" _Are you alright?" I asked softly, kneeling slightly to be at her level._

" _They...they're all...dead..." She whispered holding herself despite being drenched in others blood._

" _I'm sorry..."_

 _What else was I going to tell the grieving girl? Surely not the truth. It would destroy her beyond recognition. I ripped a piece of cloth off my shihakusho and handed it to her. She looked at me with a look of confusion; but began to wipe her face clean of the blood. "Thank you...all you you...for saving me and the rest of the village." The girl stated looking at the last remaining members of the village._

There it was. A thanks that was completely undeserved. Hiyori stood firm at my side biting her bottom lip. She knew me better than any other person on the mission. She knew that I had fucked up and this girl was going to suffer for my carelessness and need to be in charge of decisions.

" _There is no need to thank us." Hiyori stated crossing her arms over her chest._

" _Even so...I'm still indebted to you."_

 _Her words were completely absurd. There was no debt and there never would be on her part. Nothing would ever clean my slate. If there was any debt, it would be mine. Words would not form in protest to her statement. I was a fool, so I turned away from her and started back towards the Sereitei. I could hear all of her protests in my leaving, I ignored them all except when she mentioned her name. Irina._

Snapping out of memory lane, I put my pen down. There was no point in trying to do work when my brain would not focus on the task at hand. It was never going to cooperate until I knew for sure if it was the same girl. Standing up from my desk, I walked out into the cool night air. The moon above lit up the entire Soul Society with its shimmering light.

"What the hell do I do now?" I asked myself softly.

"You can start by forgiving yourself." A light male voice came across my ears.

Instantly, I knew who was behind me and also who asked him to come. Hiyori. She may like to beat on me; but at the slightest notion that something was wrong with me, she runs to Rojuro Ohtoribashi. Rose for short, also Squad Three's new Captain. I turned to face him, keeping my emotions safely tucked away. I didn't need him opening me up like one of his books.

"Rose...I see Hiyori can't mind her own business."

"She's just worried."

"There is no need to be. I'm fine."

I could tell Rose wasn't buying into anything. He had been a part of that mission fifty years ago as well. There was no hiding anything from someone who was so in-tuned to people's emotions. What could I possibly tell him that he would believe. "As a friend, I'm here just to say that you really should let it go. You aren't even the same person anymore."

"Doesn't change what I did..."

"No; but even if she does somehow remember you, she won't remember the circumstances. Move on from it; otherwise, it will destroy you."

Rose was right whether I wanted to admit it or not. He also didn't give me a chance to respond, because when I turned to meet his gaze, he was gone. A soft chuckle escaped my lips before stepping back inside the office to finish the paperwork piling up on my desk. Tomorrow was going to be eventful enough without the old man up my ass for unfinished work.

 **Irina**

I awoke with the sun in my face. Squinting my eyes, I shifted in my bed to avoid the window. My eyes came face to face with my zanpakuto leaning against the wall next to me. Eakattā. The thought of her brought a smile to my face. It didn't matter that every single person at the Academy hated me, because I knew that she didn't. Somehow, I knew things were going to get better now that I had her by my side as an equal. My partner through it all. _**"I'm with you..."**_ Her voice licked across my ear the moment my hand came in contact with the sheath.

Another smile tugged at my lips while getting ready for another day. The short walk to the Academy kept my mind going over everything I had learned the day before. Even the loud gossip from other groups I passed were toned out, so I could think. It wasn't until I got inside the building did I notice something was going on. Large clusters of students gathered together and then formed lines, one on each side of the hallway.

My eyes gazed at the furthest end of the hallway. A man stood firmly behind all the members of the board, men who like to say they run the Academy. He had long blonde hair and soft brown eyes. He wore a standard shihakusho underneath a white haori. "Wow, a Captain is here." Someone stated in awe.

I couldn't seem to move to stand in line like I was supposed to. I felt like every ounce of energy was being sucked away. Was it his spiritual pressure? Or was it something else? He continued to move forward down the line, not bothering to make eyes contact with most of the students as they gushed over his presence.

His eyes connected with mine when he reached halfway down the hall. No matter what I did, I couldn't move a single each. Boy was I ever going to be in trouble for this discretion. "Stand in line!" They bellowed in authority.

Not even a squeak came out of my mouth. I was totally helpless. It wasn't until Rin grabbed both my shoulders and dragged me into line next to him. "Idiot, what the hell were you thinking?" He snapped.

"I...I just couldn't move..."

A sigh escaped his lips. It was either out of relief or annoyance. I couldn't tell which one it was. Rin mumbled something about spiritual pressure but I wasn't really listening. The Captain's gaze hadn't left me and a feeling of familiarity started to form at the base of my stomach. I felt like I met him before somewhere. No matter what I did, I just couldn't put my finger on where that had been.

"These are the two candidates, sir..." One of the board members stated with a look in our direction.

"Candidates for what?" Rin asked.

He was completely confused as to what was going on. Of course, if I hadn't eavesdropped on their conversation yesterday, I would have been in the same position. My eyes looked up from the floor momentarily. The Captain just stared at me like he wanted to say something. "Rin...Irina...you are candidates for early graduation. The Thirteen Court Guard Squads are looking for personnel right now. You two are the only ones ready to make the move."

I could tell Rin was speechless. I seriously doubted he thought those words were true. His eyes went from wide to normal size, trying to regain control of his emotions including surprise of the recent news. The Captain continued to stare at us and it was quite unnerving. "I want to see their abilities." He finally spoke.

His voice was soft with a hint of authority; but it rolled across my skin like a gentle caress. What the hell was with this man? The irritation was making my hands twitch at my sides, begging to be gripped into fists. "Of course. We will take them out to the training yard shortly."

Rin looked at me with an expression I've never seen before on anyone in response to me. His gentle eyes held a softness that was swirled with worry and confusion. I honestly had no idea what to tell him, even I was concerned about what would happen if we were to graduate early. We watched the Captain walk away with three of the board members, his long hair flowing after him.

"Sir, do you really think we are ready for this?" Rin asked the remaining member.

"We have every confidence in you both."

My eyes were completely glued to the retreating Captain to really listen to him talk. It wasn't an infatuation stare. It was something else entirely. A sudden flash of the massacre fifty years ago appeared inside my head, furthering the confusion within me. Why would that just suddenly appear? Unless that Captain had been...

"It can't be..." I mumbled to myself.

Rin elbowed me, jolting me forward. The lines scattered with the students heading in the direction of their classes. That wasn't the case with us. We were following the board head out into the training grounds. My hands were beginning to shake with nervousness and realization. They were about to know that I had learned the name of my zanpaukuto after only having the sword in my possession for twenty-four hours. _**"Calm down, Irina. Everything will be fine."**_ Eakattā whispered inside my head.

It wasn't just about them knowing about my zanpakuto that made me nervous. The fact that the Captain gracing us with his presence could very well be the same one that saved my life all those years ago. The one I owed a debt to. The moment we walked out onto the grounds his eyes instantly came in contact with mine. That wasn't just a coincidence, could it?

"The two of you will have the chance to show Captain Hirako everything you are capable of for the sake of graduating early and becoming a part of The Thirteen Court Guard Squads. We will start with kidō."

At least the first test would be something in my favor. I excelled in kidō much like every other section of combat. I was pretty well balanced and that was something that gave me the sense that I would no doubt be someone as a Soul Reaper.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Note: Thanks goes to thunderyoshi for the wonderful review.**

Chapter 4:

 **Shinji**

There was no doubt in my mind that the girl was indeed the very same one. I'd never forget those eyes. Those tranquil Caribbean water blue eyes. I just couldn't take my own off her, not because I found her to be attractive but because I felt all the guilt behind everything. When her eyes connected with mine, I wondered if she recognized me. If only she knew how terrible I felt about the whole situation.

"Begin by showing the highest number of Kidō in both Hadō and Bakudō you've mastered."

Kidō was by no means my specialty; but I was comfortable in my own skills with it and it would seem Irina was the same way if not more comfortable. Rin stepped forward first, no doubt wanting to make an impression; however, I could tell that he was completely uneasy in the task given to him.

Two targets were placed at around fifty feet away. Rin's stance was ridged and uptight, not something you'd see in the Kido Corps. "Bakudō number sixty-two...Hyapporankan!" he shouted while leaping into the air, tossing a blueish-white rod of energy from his hand. It split into hundreds of energy rods, covering the entire target.

I shifted my gaze to Irina, who was still relatively calm considering her rival just successfully used Hyapporankan. Her eyes never showed a hint of emotion. Was it the test that completely shut her down or was it growing up without anyone that made her that way? Mentally forcing my own guilt down, I returned to see which Hadō spell the young man would use before it was her turn.

As it turned out, the highest spell in Hadō was number fifty-four, Haien. It was basically a flame attack that incinerates the target upon contact. Rin looked disappointed as he backed away giving Irina enough room to do her spells. The narrowing of his eyes gave me a sense that he wasn't real happy with her being a part of this test at all.

Irina stood relaxed with her eyes closed, allowing the wind to blow through her long locks of ebony hair. Her voice was almost like a whisper, slightly different than what I remembered it to be. It came as a surprise to hear the words flowing from her mouth.

"Walls of iron sand, a priestly pagoda, glowing ironclad fireflies. Standing upright, silent to the end. Bakudō number seventy-five...Gochūtekkan."

My eyes went wide the moment I saw five small yellow orbs of light appear around her clasped hands. She lunged forward, slamming her hands onto the ground. Five thick iron pillars connected by chains fell from the sky, trapping the target beneath the weigh. Moving my eyes away from her Kidō display, I could see Rin's temper swell within him. He was being shown up by a girl and it just wasn't sitting well with him, that much was for sure. I could only imagine what her Hadō spell would be.

I didn't have to wait long though. The familiar yellow lightning of Raikōhō struck down the remaining target. Her spiritual pressure swirled around her body giving her aura a mint green color. "Well done. Both of you. Now we will continue with Hakuda, Hohō and Zanjutsu."

Irina stared at Rin as they prepared to face each other in the last test. She played the defensive role as Rin came at her with swift movements not only from his sword but from hand-to-hand combat as well. Her speed was impressive, already knowing flashstep was going to be something every squad was going to want.

Her blade connected with his, swirling her spiritual pressure outward. It bounced against me and I could tell she was holding back. Could this girl really be this good already? Genius' didn't appear very often. In fact, they were pretty rare. With every second of this battle that passed, it was becoming more clear that Irina was indeed someone special.

"You can't run forever!" Rin yelled.

He was clearly frustrated in not being able to land a decisive blow. The longer the battle went on the more her spiritual pressure spiked. Switching hands with his blade, he swiftly swung upward only to be caught by her own blade. "I'm not running..." she stated softly twisting her wrist, striking him backward.

A small grin appeared on her lips. She was beginning to enjoy the battle, despite knowing that she clearly outmatched him. "Oh no...Rin..." A whispered female voice tickled my ear. That's when I noticed the battle was drawing a pretty large crowd. The girl that spoke held such concern on her face. No denying she held feelings for the young candidate.

The sound of metal on metal made her cringe and when Irina kicked Rin down to the ground, she gasped with a hand over her mouth. "This is absurd. How is that you're stronger than me? You are technically a third year student!" Rin yelled out of frustration. The battle had started out in his favor; but quickly turned in the other direction.

"Tch, you think that matters..." she replied looking at her sword.

"It should matter!"

I began to wonder how long the board would let this battle continue, because it was obvious that it was starting to get personal. Shifting my gaze from them, I turned my head to see all the members of the board talking amongst themselves. Rolling my eyes at their ignorance, I took a step forward intending to end the battle myself. I had seen enough of their abilities anyway.

Irina pinned Rin to the ground with the tip of her blade inches away from his throat. She had clearly defeated him without my stepping gin. "I'm stronger than you because I have more to fight for than you do." She stated refusing to withdraw her blade despite all the cries to let up she had to of heard.

"I had everything ripped away. I grew up with no one to give a damn, so I swore I would never let that happen to anyone else so long as I was able to help it. That is what drives me. I'm not here for the fame or attention. I'm here to help people."

The swirl of energy in her eyes caught my attention and hearing her words only made the guilt intensify. It wasn't the first time I had heard those words and I was beginning to regret coming here. I didn't need more added weight to my shoulders than necessary.

Irina withdrew her blade from Rin's throat and stood up straight, allowing the gentle breeze to caress her skin. Her rival slowly got back to his feet with a solemn look upon his face. I could tell he was upset; but the anger had vanished.

"Well Captain Hirako, is there anything else you need to see before a decision is made?"

"No, that will be all. I will take my leave." I replied turning my back to him.

The girl in the crowd ran passed me with a stream of tears rolling down her cheeks. She was no doubt going to comfort Rin's loss. I knew there were a set of eyes lingering on me and I had to smile at the knowledge of it. _**"Irina, we are by no means finished. I plan to repay you for everything you lost."**_ I thought before leaving the Academy completely; but not without thinking back on the past.

 _I couldn't get her face out of my mind. Her blood soaked clothes and fear stricken eyes caused my heart to clench and ache. My actions were the literal death of everyone she cared about. No matter what the others said, some of the deaths could very well have been prevented if I had just listened to Rose's plea._

 _My legs had carried me back to the same village. The girl named Irina was cleaning up the destroyed homes and preparing burials for the remaining people that hadn't been devoured by hollows. She knelt down next the their cloth covered bodies with her hands clasped together tightly. I could only observe her actions and remain hidden. "I swear that I will fight. I will never let another tragedy like this happen to anyone else so long as I'm able to prevent it."_

 _I swallowed the lump in my throat. Was she really going to become a Soul Reaper? If she did, what would happen if she recognized me? Mentally pleading that she never made it that far, I could never look her in the eye and not remember what shamed me. "I will repay the debt owed to the Soul Reaper Captain that saved my life. I must..."_

Those words remained hollow. I was never going to let her repay anything. It was me that would repay her. Stepping back inside the Squad barracks, I was met by my nosy Lieutenant. "How did it go, sir?" Sosuke asked with a stack of papers in hand.

"It went well. Both candidates are well trained." I replied sitting down at my desk feverishly looking for the paperwork needed to put in a request for new personnel.

"I thought as much, so I took the liberty of filling out the necessary paperwork. It just needs your signature."

I looked down to see that he was talking about and quickly signed the paper. Now it was a wait game to see if I'd be granted the request and if I'd get Irina in my squad, because to be perfectly honest, I had no interest in the other one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Note: Thanks goes to macalo2 and Noodilie1 for becoming followers to this story. Thanks also goes to thunderyoshi for another awesome review. I appreciate your encouraging words.**

Chapter 5:

 **Irina**

It's been several weeks since that Captain showed up to test Rin and I. After the test, Rin went back to avoiding me like everyone else. His defeat was not sitting well, not that I blamed him. If I had been in his position, I would have reacted the same way. Despite all that, I couldn't seem to get that Captain's face out of my head. He never said a word to me; but yet, I felt like he knew me. Was it really him? Was it him that saved my life?

"Is something troubling you?" Gengorō Onabara asked after class was finished.

"Not particularly..."

"Are you sure? You've been out of it so-to-speak over the last couple of days."

He wasn't wrong by no means. I really haven't been myself and it wasn't just because that Captain showed up. The tense environment in every class was beginning to get to me. I couldn't understand why I hadn't earned the respect of my classmates yet. What more did I need to do to earn that? My instructor's eyes gazed at me, studying me. "Maybe you should take time to yourself. There really isn't anything else any of us can teach you. Eventually you will graduate and move onto the Court Guard Squads." He suggested.

Resting my clenched hand against my mouth, I thought about what he had suggested. Could I really just ditch the rest of my classes just to try and sort my own mental chaos? Maybe it was for the best, it wasn't like anyone would miss me anyway. "Thank you, I think I may just do that..."

He nodded and gave a satisfied smile before returning his gaze back to his desk. I walked out of the room with a sense of relief. Being away from the Academy might actually do some good for me. Unfortunately, I never got too far in the direction of the hand honchos that could make that happen. Rin stood in my way with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Irina." He called.

"Yes..."

"We are wanted in the conference room in ten minutes."

Well it was time. The decision must have been made about our early graduation. To be honest that was a blessing. I couldn't stand the hostility anymore. "Thank you..." I stated without really meeting his gaze. I began the walk in the direction of the room, knowing he was following me.

"I wanted to apologize for my outburst during that test a couple week ago." Rin said quickly catching up to walk right next to me.

"Don't worry about it."

"How do you stay so calm...even when all others torment you?"

"Sure it bothers me; but I wasn't here to make friends. I came here to protect people and pay my debt to someone who saved my life."

Talking about it in the open felt good, even if was with Rin. His eyes were soft and positioned directly on me, intending to listen to every word I said. Somehow that felt comforting, despite knowing he really didn't care. "Someone saved you?" He asked.

"Yeah...a Captain. It was fifty years ago; but I can remember it like it happened yesterday."

"I can't imagine loosing everyone I cared about in one night. I think I would have wanted to die with them."

We stopped walking and stood in front of the closed conference room door. He looked at me sympathetically. It surprised me to see this side of him. He was the first one to speak to me like a normal person and I just didn't know how to handle it. "I did want to die with them..." I admitted before firmly knocking on the door.

He opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it when the door opened. The head of the board welcomed us inside. I nervously clamped my hands together in front of me. My insides were trembling with the idea of graduation. What would happen then? Where would I go?

Rin remained calm; but I knew he was just as nervous as I was. The shimmer in his eyes sparked determination. It was something I hadn't seen during that test and that maybe he understood where I was coming from.

"We finally have the results of your tests from a few weeks ago." He explained.

"How did we do, sir?" Rin asked.

He ignored the question entirely and proceeded to look in my direction for a moment before gradually looking in Rin's. I couldn't take the suspense anymore. Mentally screaming for him to just tell us, he finally opened his mouth to speak. "Rin Tosei, you are hereby officially able to graduate and enter The Thirteen Court Guard Squads under the leadership of Captain Shunsui Kyoraku of Squad Eight."

"Understood, sir!"

Rin remained emotionless. I knew that he was excited. I mean, who wouldn't be excited to know they were heading into a squad with a Captain that was as well-known as Shunsui Kyoraku was. He lucked out to say the least and Rin was doing a fantastic job in hiding the emotions. If only I could do the same thing. "Irina Kasumi, you are hereby able to graduate and enter The Thirteen Court Guard Squads under the leadership of Captain Shinji Hirako of Squad Five."

"Wait! Wasn't he the Captain that came to test us?" I asked.

"Yes and he specifically asked for you to be sent to his squad upon graduation."

That was all I needed to know or wanted to know. He was, no doubt in my mind, the man who saved me all those years ago. I was graciously given the opportunity to repay the debt owed to him, and I intended on doing just that.

Dismissing us, we stepped out of the room with a piece of paper that held details of what as to come. Standing in the hallway unable to move, Rin placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. Startling me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah...I believe so..." I replied with a smile.

His questioning eyes lingered on me. I wondered why the sudden change in him, because as far as I knew he only associated with popular people. I was anything but that. Was it my power that intrigued him? Or was it that he finally understood my story? It really didn't matter, because after we graduate and headed into the Court Guard Squads our paths wouldn't cross very often, if at all.

I opened the paper in my hands, scanning the contents so I could memorize what was about to happen. Apparently they didn't want to waste any time getting us out of the Academy, because our graduation would be held the following day in front of all the students from all years.

 **Shinji**

Today would be the day she arrived. I've been trying so hard not to think about the things I'd say to her, because they were pretty much irrelevant at this point. Her family were already gone and no amount of apologies would atone for my mistake. Sosuke was curious as ever about her. He always did enjoy when new people arrived within the squad. He had a knack for making them feel welcome and I still couldn't figure out if it all was just an act or if it was legitimately who he was at heart.

"Captain, Miss Kasumi is here."

Now was the time. I had asked for this, so it was now or never. Thinking about what she went through to get to this point in her life, I froze. What was it about her that continued to haunt me? I knew that deaths happened everyday. It was part of the job; but her face that night was the only thing I couldn't seem to let go. "Send her in!" I replied in an authority voice.

The large wooden door slid open and she stood directly behind my eighth seat. The long ebony locks crossed over her shoulders and over her well hidden chest. Her fairly light blue eyes were nervously staring at me, confused as to what to do next. It almost humored me to see her this way considering how focused I had seen her at the Academy. "You may come in you know."

"Sorry sir...I didn't know what's appropriate."

"Forget it. So...you graduated top of your class in just about everything except for socialism."

I could see her cower away from the remark. It came as no surprise that she didn't score very high in that. She was a loner; that was easily written all over her body stature. "Yes...well I prefer to be alone..." She answered.

That would have been my guess taking her past into consideration. Pushing the desk chair back, I stood up and took several steps in her direction. Out of fear or just a reflex, she took a step back to keep the distance between us. "You will have to get over that. There will be times when you will be part of a group for missions. Communication is important in these cases."

"I will be fine in those situations, sir."

"Good. Now, it's hard to say where you should be placed rank wise just yet. I think a test is in order for that."

Agreeable, she bowed her head in respect. Up close like this, I really got a good look at how beautiful she really was. Fifty years hadn't done justice for me; but she was incredibly stunning. No longer the teenage version she once was. "You will join the squad group that's heading out to the Rukon for area patrol tonight. Let's see how you handle yourself."

"Yes, sir..."

"Sundown at the edge of the barracks."

Nodding in compliance, she bowed before taking her leave of the room. Nothing had been mentioned about the past and it was eating me up inside. She deserved to know what happened and why it happened. Standing there frozen like a statue, it gave Sosuke the opening to sneak in without my knowing.

"Sir, is something wrong?" He asked.

"Jesus, you scared the hell out of me!" I snapped coming out of the trance I had been in.

"My apologies..."

"Whatever. What do you need?"

Sosuke eyed me curiously. Was he waiting for me to spill my guts to him about the first meeting with Irina? Like that was ever going to happen. I didn't trust him before and I certainly don't now. "What is her new rank?" He asked obviously talking about her. His questions were beginning to annoy me.

"I didn't give her one just yet, thought maybe a test would be best. She goes with the night patrol tonight."

With that said, I walking out of the room. A little fresh air would do me some good. Outside, the breeze was soothing and the sun's rays were warm. Irina was walking along the pathway towards the barracks. Several of the female members of the squad stopped to speak with her. A smile curved her full lips upward. It was good to see that, because out of the times I checked in on her over the years I never once saw her smile.

She walked with grace, featherlight steps and I was curious just what she was capable of after learning her zanpakuto's name, if she hadn't already. I had no idea why I had a need to be around her. Maybe it was because of the past; but maybe it was because I was simply attracted to her.

I had time to learn about her, because of all the guilt I've been burdened with for the past fifty years. Her head turned from the girls and looked in my direction. Lifting her hand up, she waved. Not caring that I was her Captain and that made me respect her more. She wasn't judging me because of my rank.

Waving back, the girls that surrounded her giggled and began to talk, pulling her along with them. I could only imagine what they were telling her. Gossip was never my thing and hoped that it wasn't anything bad.

The warm breeze flowed through my hair, knocking several blonde chunks into my face. When I could no longer see Irina, I leaned forward against the wooden decorative pieces between the pillars holding the building upright. If she had this kind of effect on me now, what kind of effect would she have later on down the road?


	6. Chapter 6

**Author Note: I'd like to thank uzumaki49 for becoming a follower to this story. I'd also like to thank thunderyoshi for another wonderful review. This chapter is going to introduce a new character and I hope you all enjoy reading it.**

Chapter 6:

 **Irina**

It felt weird to have so many people ask me questions about where I came from, what I could do and what my hobbies were outside of duty. Seeing Captain Hirako across the barracks caught me by surprise. He was staring at me and even waved back when I acknowledged his presence.

"I think the Captain may have taken a liking to you..." A girl stated trying to hide her giggles.

I truly didn't understand why the need to laugh; but I could start to feel the heat in my cheeks forming. Another girl started to giggle, joining the other upon seeing my embarrassment. By this time, I knew that I was blushing. It was kind of hard not to when I had three girls teasing me about a simple wave. "Why would you say that?" I asked curiously.

"He never waves at anyone. I wouldn't say he's a hard ass; but he doesn't really socialize with too many within the squad."

"Maybe it's because I'm new..."

I was cut off by another laugh. One of them wrapped their arm around my shoulders, pulling me along with them. Looking back to see my Captain still looking at me, I realized that maybe he really did recognize me and knew exactly who I was...and what I needed to do. "Naive little Irina. Our Captain's intrigued by you. My advice to you is that you take advantage of it."

With that said, they walked away leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was to meet the patrol squad in a few hours and I still hadn't talked to my zanpakuto since arriving in the Seireitei. Sliding the door open to enter the room that would be mine for as long as I was a part of Squad Five, a sense of tranquility washed over me. "I finally made it..." I whispered to myself just as my legs stepped over the threshold.

" _ **Irina..."**_ Eakattā's voice echoed inside my mind.

" _ **I know..."**_

Closing the door behind me, I sat down in the middle of the floor with my sword resting upon my lap. It didn't take long to get sucked into my own inner world. The familiar forest was comforting and a smile crept to my lips knowing that when I turned around she'd be behind me.

Eakattā was sitting at the top of the rock formation. Her wings were tucked up against the sides of her body with her tail swishing from side to side. The ruby color of her eyes bore into mine, causing me to suck in an 'in awe' breath of air.

" _ **You've done good so far."**_ She complimented warmly.

" _ **I couldn't have done all this without you."**_ I replied giving her a smile.

" _ **It isn't just me. We are partners."**_

She was right. It was a group effort. Not just about her and not just about me. Accepting that made me understand that I could tell her anything without being ridiculed by other people. Being a part of my soul, she already knew of my past. The problem was how I was going to bring it up to the man that saved my life that night.

There was no advice she could give me that would make the task any easier. It was a matter of timing and whether or not I had the guts to even talk to him about it. Eakattā nudged my arms gently with her beak. She was trying to comfort me as best as she could.

Opening my eyes to my reality, the sun was close to setting. I came to the conclusion that time moves differently while your in the inner world of your soul. I'd have to remember that for the next time. Quickly gathering my sword from my lap, I bolted out the door without bothering to lock it. Mentally cursing myself for not being more prepared, I finally came to the edge of the barracks.

A fairly small group was gathered and I didn't recognize any of them. Once I got closer, they eyed me questioningly. I'm sure being new didn't have any privileges attached to it. "Are you Irina Kasumi?" A man asked. He had a small mustache and a pretty big nose. His eyes were so dark that they were almost black and his hair was pure white, slightly balding.

"Yes, sir." I answered formally.

"Alright then, we have the last person. Let's move out!" He shouted.

The group began to follow behind him. I walked beside a girl that looked new herself. Although I was pretty sure there were no other graduates besides Rin and I; but that didn't mean there weren't any before us. Her hands trembled at her sides. Smiling, I placed a hand on her shoulder. "Just take a breath. Think about the reason you are here. It always helps me with I'm nervous about something."

"Thank you..."

"What's your name?"

She looked at me with soft brown eyes and cinnamon hair. There was a small white scar just above her left eyebrow. I wondered if she was contemplating telling me her name, not really blaming her if she didn't want to. No one knew me therefore no one trusted me either. "Arisa...my name is Arisa Shiba."

"You're part of the Shiba clan aren't you?"

All she could do was nod her head. I could tell her nerves were not settling at all. It all made sense now. The girl was nobility from one of the four great clans of the Soul Society. There were certain expectations of her. Gripping her shoulder a little tighter, I smile again. It was the only thing I could think of that could get her to calm down enough to concentrate on the task at hand.

We were entering a forest by the time I noticed anything else besides Arisa's nervous nature. It was quiet, far too quiet to be normal. I remembered something one of my teachers said...if a place is too quite then there was something definitely wrong. Our leader signaled to for us to split up. Arisa stuck with me, which was fine. I didn't trust anyone else to make sure she'd be alright if a hollow did attack.

"It's too quiet." I stated softly.

"Why do you say that?" Arisa asked.

Looked around cautiously, all the others were nowhere to be seen. Not even a hint of their spiritual pressure remained, which meant they were extremely good at suppressing it or they were dead. Arisa stood frozen when I saw it appear out of thin air.

There was no time to warn her. Its bulky body glided towards the unsuspecting victim. Using my speed, I got in front of it and shoved her out of harms way. The hollow's teeth sliced into the skin of my forearm.

I cried out in pain as blood seeped out of the open wound. Arisa got back to her feet and could finally see what was going on. The fear in her eyes was crippling. The hollow laughed and turned away from me, continuing its pursuit of her. Pulling my zanpakuto free, I stepped in front of the hollow once again. Preventing him from getting to Arisa.

"I've already tasted you. You aren't what I want." He said clenching his jaw tighter with a crack.

"You can't have her!" I yelled forcefully hoping my voice wasn't shaking as much as my insides were.

A flash of the hollows that killed my family suddenly appeared before my eyes, reminding me that this was what I became a Soul Reaper for in the first place, for instances like this one. The hollow turned away from Arisa for a moment to stare at me. My blade reflected the light of the moon, shining it into his dark emotionless eyes.

I held the hilt of my sword tightly, bracing myself for his attack. His speed was impressive for his size, because I could barely get out of the way before his clawed hand connected with my head. Blood rolled down my cheek as I looked back up. He was gone. "Damnit..." I cursed softly.

The blood continued to drip from arm at a fast pace, to the point that it concerned me. I've never had a wound like this one before and I didn't know what to do about it either. Turning back towards Arisa, I could see the ripples in the air behind her trembling body. Fear. Fear was what this creature wanted. That was why it didn't want me.

"Arisa run!" I screamed.

She turned her head around to see the hollow appearing through the ripples. Rolling away just in time, she scrambled away to stand next to me. Another laugh erupted from his throat. He was enjoying the hunt of Arisa. It wasn't just a low chuckle anymore, it was a full-on from the belly laugh that made my skin crawl.

The throbbing ache in my arm was growing more intense the longer it was left untreated. I couldn't afford to waste more time standing there. Arisa was going to be no help in this situation and if I didn't find some way to destroy it, then it would find others to devour. I wouldn't let that happen. I couldn't.

"Howl...Eakattā..." I whispered.

I held my blade in my hands the second it started to glow. It split into two separate swords, connected by a thick silver chain. At the hilt of each blade, several white feathers dangled. The power coursed through me, letting me know she was with me every step of the way.

The hollow knew he wasn't going to get Arisa without going through me first. Taking a step forward, he spit out green slime. Moving out of the way with a simple flash-step, the slime ate away the ground it landed upon. It was like pure acid. Not something that would feel all the great if it hit me directly.

 **Shinji**

I knew there was something wrong when no one returned to report on time. The entire patrol squad was missing and that included Irina. Ignoring Sosuke's demands that he go look for them, I left intending to do it myself. The closer I got to the forest outside the two nearest districts in Rukon, I could feel Irina's spiritual pressure.

Quickly running through the trees, I caught sight of her standing before a large hollow with her zanpakuto fully exposed. To my knowledge, this was the first time she's released it in front of anyone. It truly was a sight to behold.

The image of crimson pulled my attention away from her power display. Blood rolled down her left arm from an oversized gash, no doubt given to her by that particular hollow. Her cheek was also cut open. The urge to interfere was growing the longer I stood in the shadows. Irina's wounds were in definite need of medical attention.

She lunged forward, twisting her good wrist up. The hollow moved at the last moment. Her movements were swift and well calculated especially for someone who was new to the battle scene. Opening its mouth, green liquid spewed out catching her briefly on the upper right thigh. It instantly burned through the material of her shihakusho.

Her cries were the last thing I wanted to her. She fell to the ground, holding her thigh. The pain on her face told me enough of a story that she was mentally asking for help from anyone. The hollow took several steps in her direction. No matter how outmatched she was, she still crawled in front of Arisa to protect her.

Flashing stepping into the clearing, I appeared between Irina and the hollow. Narrowing my eyes at the beast that had deprived me of some good soldiers, I held a single hand up. With a small amount of spiritual pressure, I was able to hold him in place.

"Are you alright?" I asked turning my head slightly her way.

"Captain..." Irina called out breathlessly before collapsing completely.

Arisa immediately reached for her, trying to shake her awake; but it was no use. Her wounds were in great need of treatment. Looking back at the creature that caused her pain, I pushed out a larger amount of power. Enough to crush the hollow where it stood. "Come on Irina, get up!" Arisa pleaded.

I turned around to see tears rolling down the youngest member of the Shiba Clan's face. Kneeling down, I scooped Irina's unconscious body into my arms. Her head rested gently against my chest and I couldn't help by enjoy the feeling of it. Somehow it felt almost natural. "I apologize Captain, I...I was no help to her..." Arisa said with head lowered in shame.

"Come, we need to get her back for medical treatment." I ordered.

She nodded, following right behind me. Irina's breathing was shallow and erratic, which meant she was in a lot of pain. Shifting my gaze away from her face, I looked at the wound on her thigh. The skin was bubbled over and red, obviously severely burned. The gash in her arm was swollen around the tear.

If I had been just minutes later, she wouldn't be here at all. That thought alone hurt. I owed a debt to her and there was no way in hell that I was going to let her die without me acknowledging it. She was already doing something to me that I didn't understand. The fact that I actually enjoyed having her head against my chest was proof enough of that.

"Arisa." I called.

"Yes, sir."

"Go and inform Squad Four that we have a severely injured member. Tell them to come to our barracks. I'm taking her home."

"Yes, sir."

She vanished from my sight and rightfully so considering she was partially the reason Irina's injuries happened in the first place. I quickly got to the barracks when I felt her stir in my arms. Looking down, I caught her gaze. The light blue of her eyes captivated me unlike anyone ever had. "Thank...you..." She mumbled against my chest.

"You're welcome. Couldn't let ya die on your first day here."

Light laughter escaped her lips and vibrated my body. There was so much more to the woman in my arms than I even knew. The countless times I checked in on her over the years, could never prepare me for the actual exchange of words. "The door is unlocked." She said noticing where we were.

"You know that you should probably start locking that."

"Why? I don't have anything people would want..."

I didn't know why those words effected me the way they did; but hearing them tore at me from the inside. Holding onto her with one arm, I opened the door with the free hand. There was nothing personal about her inside. It was still the same as it had been before she occupied it.

Gently placing her on the couch, I noticed the blood that had stained my haori. She turned her head to look at me. The pain was written all over her face. "Captain..." She called.

Before I could answer, Retsu Unohana stood in the open doorway. Allowing her inside, our conversation was going to have to wait. The gentle Squad Four Captain took in every single injury that blemished Irina's body, even the tiny ones. At least I knew that she was going to be in good hand.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Note: Thanks goes to thunderyoshi for another wonderful review. Thanks goes to MarishkaTheUnderdog for becoming a follower to this story. Hope you all enjoy it and let me know what you think.**

Chapter 7:

 **Irina**

I've never met anyone so gentle in my entire life. The skilled Squad Four Captain glanced at me with soft gray eyes. Captain Hirako hung back, giving her enough room to work. Shifting my gaze in his direction, I could see the guilt written all over his face. I didn't understand what could make him feel that way. He had no idea about the danger that waited for us in that forest.

Thinking back on the words of my fellow female squad members, I wondered if what they had said was true. Did he really take a liking to me? If it was true, why? Did he feel the need to protect me because of what happened in the past?

"You are pretty lucky, Irina." Captain Unohana stated.

"How so?" Captain Hirako asked.

"The burn isn't as bad as I first thought. The real problem is the gash in her forearm. I can heal it all; but she's going to have to take it easy for a week or so."

Hearing the verdict only disappointed me. My first day as an official Soul Reaper and I'm already on the injured shelf, fan-freaking-tastic. As if people in the Academy hated me enough, this was going to piss some people off within the squad. Especially since our Captain was in my own personal chambers, hovering over my injuries. I'm sure that rumor would spread quickly enough.

"Understood."

Captain Unohana turned to look at my Captain for the confirmation to heal me. He nodded and sat down slowly in the only chair in the room. The familiar warm tingling sensation engulfed me. Soon the throbbing pain in my leg and arm was gone, replaced by just an achy soreness that was so much more tolerable.

Arisa's fear stricken face flashed before my eyes and I had to know if she was okay, if my interference had saved her life in the end. Turning my head to look at him directly, his soft brown eyes never left mine. "Is Arisa safe?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"She is fine."

"Good..."

I immediately noticed the change in his expression. The resentment and anger surfaced. Did he blame Arisa for my getting hurt? Though true, I didn't blame her. I blamed my lack of battle experience. "She's healed as best as I can do." Captain Unohana interrupted.

"Thank you..." I said softly.

"You're welcome. Try to be careful next time. Oh and Shinji..."

"I know...I owe you..." He replied looking away from her.

"No...I was going to say take care of this one."

Her smile lit up the entire room and I suddenly felt completely out of place in my own home. She turned and walked away, leaving me alone with my Captain. I moved to sit up. Laying down wasn't going to get me anywhere; plus, I wanted to see him more clearly. "She's very kind." I commented tucking falling hair behind my ear.

"Oh trust me you really don't want to piss her off. She's got a dark side to her."

I let out a soft laugh. There was no point in hiding what I obviously wanted to talk about. I had to know if it was him and he needed to know that I intended to pay that debt back. When I opened my mouth to speak, the words wouldn't come out no matter how many times I begged for them to appear.

"Thank you for bailing me out of trouble..." I finally said even though it wasn't what I wanted to say.

"No need to thank me..."He replied getting up from the chair, not meeting my gaze at all.

"It's not the first time you saved me, is it?"

My own question surprised me. It hadn't fully been a day in the squad and I was already asking personal questions; but I had to know. I had to know if it had been him all along. Seeing him at the Academy brought on the familiarity of the situation back to me, only for it to intensify the second I walked into his office.

 **Shinji**

Hearing her question only made the past that much harder to think about. I wanted to tell her the truth; but I didn't know if I could handle her anger towards me once the truth was out there. As if my body had a mind of it's own, I turned to look her in the eyes.

The color had returned to her skin and those ever luring blue eyes of hers sparkled against the dim light of the room. She was tempting beyond belief and the fact that she had no clue was intoxicating, unlike anything I've ever experienced.

"So you remember...?" I asked softly.

"Not everything and I wasn't entirely sure it was you until the board at the Academy stated that you specifically asked for me." She answered folding her hands together in her lap.

"Damn those stuck up power hungry jackass'." I cursed annoyed that they told her information she wasn't supposed to know.

Irina blinked several times at my outburst. I couldn't tell if she wanted to laugh or get angry with me for saying it. She moved her legs over the edge of the couch to push herself to stand upright. "I wasn't supposed to know that, was I?" She asked cringing in pain as she stood completely up.

"No and to be honest, I was hoping that you wouldn't remember...so you wouldn't feel like you owed me anything."

"I do owe you...whether you care or not, you saved my life and I'll forever be grateful for that."

If only she really knew what happened, those words would never have been spoken. I didn't deserve her gratitude, nor did I deserve the admiration reflecting in her eyes. I couldn't lie to myself about what was happening. Over the years of checking in on her, I somehow formed a one-sided bond with her that could never be spoken of...to anyone. "Irina...there is no need for it. I saved you...because I happened to be there."

The hopeful look on her face was lost, replaced by disappointment. I turned away to step outside, not wanting to see the hurt expression any longer. Closing the door behind me, I could hear her sobs. Instantly, they latched onto my chest and applied weight. Sulking away, I left in hopes she'd ask to transfer out. It had been the worst idea to have her placed in my squad. It was an even worse idea to think that I'd be able to handle working with her.

"Why the gloomy look, Shinji?" Hiyori's voice sounded the second I walked passed the office.

"Not now, Hiyori..." I replied completely ignoring her.

"Don't be a dumbass!"

She lunged and kicked me straight through my own front door. Rolling over to jump back to my feet, I stared her down. Daring her to try something else. She crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell are ya doing here, anyway?" I grumbled.

"You really are a dumbass aren't you?"

"What are ya talkin' about?"

I brushed my uniform clean of the wooden debris and started to clean up the mess. Irina's wounded body plagued my mind of thoughts of just how easily I could have lost her for good tonight. "Shinji, that girl needs some guidance and what did you do? You pushed her away."

"Were you seriously spying on the our conversation?"

"Ugh, don't be dramatic. I had my reasons for being there."

"Do tell, Hiyori!"

At this point, I was just getting down right pissed off at her. Not only did she eavesdrop on a private conversation, she kicked me through my own front door insulting me in the process. She leaned against the wooden door frame. "I'm not going to explain my actions to you; but I will give you this bit of information I came across."

"And what would that be?"

"If you hadn't asked for her specifically, they were going to place her in Squad Eleven."

"Why? Her zanpakuto is kidō based!"

Hiyori pushed away from the door frame and took several steps in my direction. Squad Eleven were barbarians and would completely ruin everything good in her. They would turn her into a heartless killer and that was something I wouldn't let happen. Her reasons for becoming a Soul Reaper were pure and justified. "Shinji, think about what's best for her...not yourself. If she were to leave, they would no doubt put her in Squad Eleven and in no time at all...she wouldn't be Irina anymore."

"Why did you tell me this?" I asked wondering why she'd tell me something so important about someone who wasn't herself.

"Figured you'd want to know...and because I know what it's like to feel alone. She needs you, Shinji."

Not allowing me answer, she vanished. All my thoughts came flooding in at once. If I continued to push her away because of my growing attraction, then she'd eventually leave; but there was no way I could let her be ruined by Squad Eleven. Just what the hell was I going to do?


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Note: Thanks goes to ruler of the ice dragons for becoming a follower to this story. Thanks also goes to thunderyoshi and EaSnowPw for the wonderful reviews.**

Chapter 8:

 **Irina**

I awoke the next morning completely unrested and it wasn't because of the pain due to my injuries. It was because I couldn't stop thinking about what Captain Hirako said to me. Thinking that maybe he had saved me for some other reason other than being there at the right time was beyond stupid of me.

Letting out a soft sigh, I rolled off the couch and reached for my zanpakuto. Her comforting presence made the shallow emptiness fade away, because no matter what happened she'd always be there for me; but deep down, the harsh words from my Captain still echoed inside my head.

" _ **Don't let him get to you. He doesn't know you."**_ Eakattā encouraged.

" _ **Maybe not; but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I've done everything to get here and now he doesn't even want me to repay him."**_

I gingerly took several steps towards the sink. Splashing water onto my face, I could still see the swelling around my eyes. It made me look completely awful, not that I was anything special to begin with; but today, I looked downright hideous.

Stepping away from the sink, I walked outside. The warm air greeted me gently. It actually made me smile despite feeling pretty crappy on the inside. My eyes quickly caught the image of Arisa walking out towards the training grounds; however, it was met with hostility by several of the other squad members.

"Run along, the training grounds aren't meant for you." One Guard stated blocking her entry.

"Then what are they meant for?" Arisa asked folding her arms over her chest, unimpressed.

"You are simply not permitted, not be gone!" Another snapped.

I approached silently, unwilling to let them speak to her in that manor. I didn't care if they were a part of our squad. Manners should be something everything had. "That isn't any way to speak to a lady, especially one from nobility." I said coming into view.

"Irina..." She whispered.

"Ha! That girl maybe blood nobility; but she serious lacks the skills of one."

Snorting in irritation, I walked even closer. The three guards glared down at me. The intensity in their eyes reminded me of Rin. He shared the same look and even talked like him. Despite out mutual tense relationship, I actually somewhat missed him. At least I knew what I was dealing with. "That doesn't give you the right to prevent her from trying to get better."

"Irina...it's okay. Let's just go..." Arisa said pulling on my sleeve.

"No Arisa, it's not okay. If something isn't done now, you'll never get respected."

I could feel her hand clench even tighter on the sleeve. She really was like me, not just in appearance. If you changed her eyes to blue and her hair to black, she'd look a lot like me. It was almost creepy how similar we were.

Arisa gazed upon me with pleading eyes. She didn't want a confrontation, that much was obvious; but maybe the biggest reason was because she didn't want to see me get hurt...again.

 **Shinji**

Taking a short walk, resulted in coming into an argument between Irina and the guards at the training grounds. Arisa stood firmly beside Irina, attempting to keep the peace. I had to commend her for that at least.

"What she needs is someone to work with her." Irina suggested, which wasn't entirely a bad idea.

"And who would even do that?" The one in the middle asked.

"I will..."

A smile curved my lips. She was indeed as selfless as I knew she could be, which was going to make it harder to fight against my attraction to her. The way she looked right now, poised to defend someone she barely knew, took my breath away. "It's not a bad idea." I said coming closer to the group.

Irina turned to meet my gaze. Her eyes widened for split second before shrinking back to normal. She was annoyed by my presence. I couldn't really blame her considering how I treated her last night. "Sir, you can't be serious. A newbie training someone who has been unmanageable from the beginning." The one on the right said.

"If Irina can defeat the three of you, then she will gain access to the grounds in order to train Arisa Shiba."

Arisa held onto Irina tighter like I had sentenced her to death. Except, I already knew that she'd be able to win before issuing the challenge. Irina's skills were above even those that have been in the squad for years. "Sir, she's supposed to be taking it easy. Her injuries haven't had enough time to heal." Arisa pointed out.

"It's fine, it won't take long for me to defeat time." Irina countered, much to my enjoyment.

Even though she was still heavily injured, she wasn't going to back down from a challenge. Again, this wasn't helping me fight my attraction to her. The more she did that impressed me, the more it grew. Hiyori may have been right. She did need me and I needed her. "You're quite cocky for a newbie, aren't ya?" The one on the left stated.

A smile lifted her lips upward, giving me the indication that she actually enjoyed what was going to happen. Arisa still looked worried as if she had no faith at all in the woman that was defending her. Irina stepped away towards the three guards. In a single flash step, she struck one man across the jaw while kicking another in the gut.

"Why you little..."

His words were cut off by her fist connecting with his face. Emotions were no longer flowing through the ocean blue of her eyes. It was the same expression I'd seen watching her battle against Rin at the Academy. She stood above their unconscious bodies, not bothering to look back in my direction.

Though surprised it took her all of five seconds to knock them out, I wasn't at the same time. Arisa held a hand over her mouth to keep it from hanging open. When she did eventually turn around, her eyes immediately went to mine.

 **Irina**

I ached; but it didn't matter. Arisa was now going to get the training she deserved to get. I wondered why Captain Hirako would give me such an opportunity, knowing how much he wanted to avoid me. Looking at him now, things just seemed different and I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from his.

Arisa cleared her throat, reminding us that weren't the only two people standing there. Pulling my gaze away, I returned to her. She smiled at me with much appreciation. "Starting tomorrow the grounds will be open for your use." Captain Hirako announced.

"Thank you." I replied turning just to see him walking away.

It was hard to understand what he was thinking. Last night, he made it pretty obvious how the past played out and that he simply wanted nothing to do with it; but today, he seemed different. Different in ways that got my heart pounding with thoughts that shouldn't be there. "Irina..." Arisa called.

"Hmm..."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I barely used any energy with them."

I started to walk away with her right by my side. It was time to explore my new home and its surroundings, since I wasn't allowed to do anything hands-on for a while. Arisa kept quiet for most of the trip until we reached a small hillside that overlooked the entire Rukon District. "Can I ask you something?" She finally asked.

"Sure."

"Why? Why help me?"

Her question really didn't come as too much of a surprise. I was actually wondering when she'd ask. Letting out a sigh, I sat down on the soft grass pulling my legs up against my chest." You remind me a lot of myself. The fear. The hesitation. The only thing you need is someone to teach you how to master those emotions." I explained.

She sat down next to me, allowing the peaceful wind to blow straight through our hair. Maybe we could give each other something we needed. Me, a friend and her, a mentor. "So the Captain seems to like you..." She commented breaking another few moments of silence.

And...here we go. Why did every female in this squad think that? Most of them were prettier than I am. "Not really. I really don't see that in him." I answered.

"Do you think I'm blind? Something is happening..."

"He saved my life fifty years ago, that's about it."

Arisa placed her hand on top of mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. There was something she wanted to say, that much was pretty damn obvious. Talking about the Captain, of course got me thinking about him. His soft brown eyes that had a hint of amber in them and that long blonde hair that made my fingers itch to touch the strains. "Deny it all you want; but the way the two of you look at each other...there is definitely something forming."

"Arisa..."

"Just think about it, okay. I'm not telling you to walk up to him and plant a big one on him; but at least see what's there."

Taking advice from her was completely defeating the purpose of being a mentor to her. All she did was smile. We spent the rest of the day talking, understanding where we came from and what I will be teaching her in the coming days. Before long, the sun was starting to set and the crickets were beginning to chirp as night took over.

I found myself walking alone along the pathway leading towards the office. I didn't know why I was there; but here I was standing outside the wooden door with trembling hands. The moon was completely full and shinning down upon me, causing me to tremble even more.

"You must be Irina Kasumi." A gentle male voice said startling me.

"Yes...Yes I am..." I replied moving away from the door.

In front of me was my Lieutenant. Sosuke Aizen. His brown hair lay slightly unkempt and the large black square glasses gave him a bookworm look; but despite all that, he gave me such a gentle smile. Gentle enough to get the butterflies to stop fluttering in my stomach and my hands to stop trembling.

He extended his hand out for me to accept. Following suit, I shook his hand tucking hair behind my ear. Was he going to ask me why I was out here? If he was, I had no idea what answer I'd give him. "Well it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Captain Hirako had been quite secretive when it comes to you."

Well I hadn't expected to hear that coming from my Lieutenant; so it wasn't just the women in the squad, it was everyone. What was so special about me? Lowering my gaze away, dread washed over me. I was so confused and all I wanted was some answers. Thinking back on last night, there was no way the Captain was going to give them to me. "Is there something troubling you?" He asked placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No not at all." I replied hoping my lie wouldn't be caught.

"I have an errand to run; but it was wonderful to finally meet you."

"Likewise."

He stepped away, leaving me alone. Turning back around to stare at the door, my fist finally connected with the wood. I could hear his voice tell me to come inside. Hesitating, my hands slid the door open slowly. He looked up from his desk and the second his eyes came in contact with mine, my heart started to pound again. "What brings you here so late, Irina?" He asked shifting his head back down towards his work.

"To say thank you."

He lifted his head back up from the papers in front of him. The wind blew the door shut behind me, causing me to jump a little. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him getting up from his chair. Immediately the butterflies started to flutter and sweat caked my palms. Why the hell was I so nervous?

"Thanks for what exactly?" He asked taking a couple steps closer.

"Letting me work with Arisa. She needs it."

Stopping just a few inches away, I swallowed hard trying to calm myself down enough to function rationally. The moon shimmered through the window, catching his eyes perfectly. My heart raced just at the mere sight of him. "You don't need to thank me for that. She needs help and you're probably the best suited for the job."

"Captain..."

"Just Shinji, okay. This isn't working hours."

Why was it so hard to look away. Maybe Arisa was right and there was something here. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Everything about this man called out to me, including the energy that surrounded his zanpakuto. "Oh...okay...Shinji, maybe the past should be..."

"I'm sorry about what I said last night." He interrupted.

Not what I was expected at all. I could only imagine what I looked like right then; but he never broke eye contact with me. A Captain apologizing to the subordinate. That was definitely a new one. Out of reflex, I held my hand up to stop it. "There is no need to apologize. I allowed the child part of me to think differently. I was stupid to think anything other than what you said." I admitted.

"No...you weren't stupid."

He severed the connection by turning his head slightly. His cheeks hinted a subtle shade of pink. He was blushing and it took me by surprise. Smoothing my pant leg with the palm of my hand, I reached out to touch the skin of his cheek with the same hand. "It's okay. You don't have to try and make me feel better. The past is the past and should be just that...the past."

"I wasn't just there at the right time. I didn't save you because it was my job. I saved you because I wanted to and I continued to check on you over the years...to make sure I succeeded."

"That was...you..."

Back then, I always felt like there was someone watching me. Never once did I think it would have been him. He covered my hand with his own, curling his fingers around my palm before pulling it away from his face. The gesture took my breath away. He still held my hand at his side. "You were alone and checking in on you seemed harmless enough until..."

"Until what?"

"It's nothing."

He instantly let go of my hand and stepped away form me. There was something hidden and I wanted to know what it was. Shinji looked out the window, staring straight at the full moon. I knew he wasn't going to tell me anything else tonight; but that didn't make me any less grateful for the things he did tell me.

I stepped forward until he was only inches away. Leaning up, my lips met the warm skin of his cheek. I knew it was bold and extremely inappropriate considering her was my Captain; but in that moment, I didn't really give a damn. "Thank you, Shinji..." I whispered walking away.

"You're welcome..." He replied just as I slipped out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author Note: Thanks goes to EaSnowPw and thunderyoshi for the wonderful reviews. Thanks also goes to JaniLoveCookies and LightFun27 for becoming a followers to this story.**

Chapter 9:

 **Shinji**

Standing there alone with the moonlight being the only thing giving me light, it got me thinking about every single time I went back to the Rukon to check on Irina. Her lips on my cheek only minutes prior accelerated my heart to pump the blood faster through my veins. If trying to hide my attraction to her was bad enough, her actions tonight only aggravated it further.

Running a hand through my hair, I sighed before turning away from the window to leave the office for the night. Walking along the wooden pathway leading towards my own private chambers, I could see her sitting on the rooftop of the complex she occupied. Her long ebony hair lay across the front of her, hiding the purity of those eyes I've grown to love.

"Goodnight...angel." I whispered just as I slipped inside my room.

The morning quickly came and my mind was instantly on Irina the second my eyes opened to meet the sun. I procrastinated on getting out of bed. Somehow I felt like things would be chaotic today. Much to my displeasure, a soft knocking came across my door. "Sir, there are orders from the Head Captain. Please get up." Sosuke announced in a muffled voice.

"Ugh...of course..." I groaned rolling out of bed, my feet touching the floor.

After cleaning myself up to look presentable, I opened the door. Sosuke was standing there with a piece of paper. He handed me the item and I quickly scanned its contents, reading the words inside my head. _ **"It had come to my attention that there has been an overabundance of hollows occupying a small section of The World of the Living. I am ordering you, Squad Five Captain Shinji Hirako, to send a group to take of the issue. Signed Head Captain Yamamoto."**_

"Well this is quite the inconvenience." I stated handing the paper back to my lieutenant.

"What did you have in mind, sir?"

"I don't know...this is all so annoying."

I started to walk away until her voice entered my ears. Leaving Sosuke at the foot of my door, I shifted through the pathway until I got to the training grounds. Irina stood behind Arisa, guiding her movements with her zanpakuto. "Relax, you have to be fluid with you movements. If you're tense, you will loose speed and that's definitely not a good thing." She explained.

"Fluid...got it..." Arisa replied with her eyes closed.

Irina stepped back to allow Arisa to move without guidance. She stepped in and then shifted back, her legs remained lax without restraint. By god, she was getting it. A smile crept up onto Irina's lips. She continued to watch her new found friend's actions until her head moved in my direction. Her hand went up to wave at me. "She's progressing quite well, Captain." She said alerting Arisa to my presence as well.

"That's good, because I may have to send her out to The World of the Living tonight."

"Why?" Irina asked with concern all over her voice.

"I got orders to send a group out to take care of a hollow infestation in a small section out in the living world."

Arisa wiped the forming sweat from her brow and took a knee on the ground. Irina studied me, searching for something. A flash of her kissing my cheek appeared behind my eyes, fading just as quickly as it came about. It was hard to ignore the attraction to her, because I felt that maybe the attraction was mutual. "What about me?" She asked softly.

"You're supposed to be resting, healing those injuries." I answered even though the idea had already crossed my mind.

"With all due respect, sir...if she goes than I go. I'm the only one that will help her."

"Fine...then I have no choice than to come along as well..."

A teasing smile curved Arisa's lips and I easily could tell it was directed at Irina, which got me thinking about their conversations about me. It made wonder what Irina had spoken of me. Irina took a step in my direction. "That isn't necessary, sir. Arisa and I can handle it." She countered, which by no means surprised me.

"Unfortunately, I can't let just two people go. There is just too many hollows out there."

"But..." Arisa protested.

"No! That's final! At your current level of power, you'd die." I bluntly told them, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want that. Especially when it came to Irina.

Irina lowered her head, shying away from the reality. I knew that she wanted to be the strong one; but she was still recovering from the last fight she'd been involved in. Going with them, would give me the means in keeping them safe. "We will meet at the office at nine tonight." I ordered and then flash-stepped away.

 **Irina**

Blinking several times, I tried to regain my composure. That small conversation only added to the unfamiliar feelings inside me. The way he looked at me when he announced that he'd be coming along seared right through me. This man was going to be the death of me if things remained how they were currently.

"Irina?" Arisa asked.

"Yeah..."

"Are you alright?"

I turned away from the entrance of the training grounds to look her way. Her eyes connected with mine, instantly calming my nerves. For some reason, she had that effect on me. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked.

"He's gotten under you skin, hasn't he?"

"I don't know what you're talking about..."

"You don't have to hide things with me, plus I can see right through you."

Sitting down on the ground beneath me, I let out a sigh. I've only been around her for two and a half days and she could already read me. Pulling my legs up against my chest, I rested my chin on my knees. "This shouldn't be happening..." I said as a warm breeze filtered through my hair, blowing it around my back.

"There's a past between the two of you...it's not unheard of. My mom fell in love with my dad the same way."

"Wasn't that an arranged marriage though?"

"Yes; but it was something they were fine with because there were feelings already there."

I listened to her speak of her parents and it got me thinking about how I never knew mine. Other people took me in because they felt bad for this poor orphan girl. They did the best they could for me and in time, I grew to love them as if they were my parents. It took everything I had not to follow suit after they were killed fifty years ago.

"My point is that it's perfectly okay to feel things for him."

"I don't even know what I'm feeling."

Arisa sat down next to me. I didn't know why I felt such a connection to this woman; but I did. She calmed me when my nerves threatened to tear me apart and the way she gave advice was the most real thing I've ever heard. How was I just meeting her now? "That's okay too. Explore a little and if you need anything, I'm always here for you."

"Thank you...Arisa..."

After another several hours working with her, giving her as much information as I possibly could, it was time to prepare for the mission. Arisa ventured home to speak to her zanpakuto, which wasn't a bad idea in my opinion; so once I got inside my private quarters, I sat down in the middle of the floor with my precious Eakattā upon my lap.

My reality shattered and in its place stood the peaceful forest of my inner world. Eakattā glanced down at me from the highest rock on the formation. Her ruby eyes sparkled against the make-shift sunlight. Her presence was such a breathtaking view every time I saw it. "Are you fairing well, Irina?" She asked stretching her wings out.

"I am..."

"You don't sound certain."

I should have known that she'd be able to tell when I was lying. She was a part of me after all. Glaring down at me, she was waiting for me to say something; but what could I tell her that didn't sound stupid or whinny? "I'm about to enter The World of the Living for the first time...I'm a little nervous." I said.

"I'll be with you every step of the way, don't be discouraged in the effort."

It was nice to know that she had my back, made things a lot easier. Her beak creased a smile, reassuring me that everything would be just fine. I had to trust that and in her ability to help me when I needed it.

Opening my eyes, my room was my reality. The time was drawing in with only an hour left before the mission would begin. My body couldn't seem to sit still, so I opted to leave hoping that taking a walk would help calm the nerves. Sliding the door open, Captain Hirako stood there with his fist up as if he was in mid-movement to knock on the door.

"Captain, what brings you here?" I asked.

"You don't have to come along. I know you're still healing." He said purposely avoiding eye contact.

"I can't do that. Arisa needs me."

 **Shinji**

She was stubborn that was for sure. We both knew that her injuries were still fresh and she was in no condition to be engaging in physical combat; but she still insisted on coming for Arisa. That was a loyalty like no other. Instinctively, I took a step closer to her. "I need you to stay safe." I said looking directly in her bright eyes.

A blush coated her cheeks pink. She was bringing foreign behaviors out in me that I thought didn't exist. There was no way in hell that I was letting her get hurt...again. Irina smiled before brushing her thumb across the back of my hand once. Her touch was nothing short of electricity. It left me wanting more. "I'll be just fine..." She replied brushing her hand against mine.

"You better be..."

Her fear stricken face from fifty years ago flashed before me, reminding me of what she lost in the past and that I was the reason for it. Those feather-light touches she placed on the skin of my hand were undeserving; but so hard to resist at the same time. Irina was everything I wanted in a woman, despite knowing she deserved so much more. "What is this? Why do I feel so connected to you?" She asked in a soft voice that was almost a whisper.

"I wish I knew..."

The words left my mouth and her hand took hold of mine, gently lacing her fingers through. Swallowing hard, my nervousness surfaced not allowing me to think straight. The warmth of her skin was tempting enough; but the shimmer on her lips was sending me over the edge. Her free hand reached up to touch my face, brushing her thumb across the already heated skin. "This is a bad idea..." I hesitated in saying but I still took her hand away from my face.

"Probably..." She replied recoiling both of her hands away from me.

Believe me, I wanted to kiss her until it left both of our lips numb. I couldn't risk hurting her because of the past. Thankfully, Arisa turned the corner walking in our direction. Irina's actions tonight only confirmed my suspicion that she indeed had growing feelings for me. It was getting harder and harder to fight against those emotions.

"Did I interrupt something?" Arisa asked.

"No..." Irina replied in an emotionless voice.

"You both ready?" I asked.

Both women nodded in confirmation. I lead them to the gateway that would lead us to The World of the Living; but the mission was the farthest thing from my mind. Irina's gentle touches seem to have taken over. I honestly didn't know how much longer I could fight against it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author Note: Thanks goes to EaSnowPw and thunderyoshi for the wonderful reviews. Thanks also goes to tabetaisu for becoming a follower to this story.**

Chapter 10:

 **Irina**

I was annoyed and Shinji probably knew it to; but to be honest, I didn't care. This whole situation was confusing enough without him touching me and now all I wanted to do was be close to him. What the hell was wrong with me? He was my Captain, my superior. Surprisingly enough, those facts didn't even matter to me.

We had been so close to kissing, to the point that I doubted I'd fight against it. Arisa's watchful stare was aimed right at me. She knew that something happened; but I was thankful that she didn't push the issue. At least not yet anyway. _**"Everything will be fine."**_ Eakattā's voice echoed.

" _ **Are you sure?"**_ I asked keeping my eyes ahead.

" _ **Yes, things will seem clearer with more time."**_

God, I loved my zanpakuto. She always knew what to say to get my emotions back on track. Shinji walked in front of us, despite Arisa's protest for us to walk up front. I assumed his ego got the better of him, though I didn't know for sure. We hung back waiting for orders. He never spoke a word the entire time we were in the section between the Soul Society and The World of the Living.

The silence got my brain working, making me think about his hands on my skin. Was it wrong of me to have enjoyed those gentle caresses? Knowing he had kept watch over me all these years got my heart pumping blood faster than it should be and the heat returned to my cheeks, unwelcomed and completely noticeable.

"Are you okay?" Arisa asked putting her hand on my upper arm.

"Honestly, I don't know." I answered not meeting her gaze.

Ahead of us was the opening to The World of the Living. The bright white light was almost blinding; but once we stepped through, it was no longer there. Before me was forest as far as my eyes could see. This was not what I had expected and the night sounds were completely different. Crisper perhaps. "Stay here...I'm going to search the area. "Shinji announced.

"Captain, you really should let us do that." Arisa protested.

"No, you keep an eye on Miss Kasumi..."

Miss Kasumi? Really? We were back to formalities. He officially pissed me off now. Letting out a burst of spiritual pressure, he stopped dead mid-step. Arisa eyed me suspiciously, probably wondering what exactly I was doing giving our position away. If he asked, I wasn't sure what I'd tell him. All I knew was the anger I felt by the sarcasm he used with my name. "Is there a reason you're trying to let the hollows know where we are?" Shinji asked with narrowed eyebrows.

"How about you stay with Arisa and let me scout the area." I countered with malice laced in my voice.

I took several steps closer to him. Arisa reached out for me; but just grazed my arm. She knew that I wasn't happy with the current situation. Somehow her pleading eyes calmed me, at least a little bit. Not looking at Shinji one time, I took off into the forest leaving them alone and with a wonder of what they would speak of without my company.

 **Shinji**

Irina's anger was plain as day. I guess that I couldn't blame her. My frustration got the better of me. Her beautiful blue eyes flickered with rage the second the sarcastic use of her came out of my mouth. It came as no surprise that her energy would twinge as well, though I believed she did it on purpose to prove a point. "Captain..." Arisa called.

"Yes."

I knew what was coming. Arisa had become pretty close to Irina over the last couple of days. She behaved like a sister to her and she was going to talk like one right now. I just had this feeling a lecture was heading in my direction. "What happened between you two? She was perfectly fine before we left." She asked.

"Nothing..."

"Sorry Captain; but I just don't believe that."

I turned my head to catch her searching eyes. What did she want me to say? That Irina meant more to me than she should. That every time I'm near her, the only thing I want to do was kiss her, to finally taste those lips that have haunted me for fifty years. There was a limit to how much I could take and Irina's presence was testing my control on a daily basis.

"It's not your concern." I stated with irritation.

"She is my concern. Her injuries are nowhere near healed enough for this; but for some reason she feels like she has something to prove."

I couldn't imagine why Irina would feel the need to think such a thing. She had nothing to prove to me or to the rest of the squad. They already spoke highly of her. It was me that didn't praise her as much as I should. Maybe that was because of my emotions, I didn't know. What I did know was that I was growing impatient for her to return.

Closing my yes, I searched for a hint of her spiritual pressure. It was faint; but I did feel its comforting energies tingling against my skin. Standing here waiting for her to come back wasn't going to do any of us any good, because if she was mad enough...she'd just stay away until she was over it. That was far too dangerous to do right now.

"I'm going after her." I stated.

"Not without me." Arisa shouted running after me.

There was nothing but trees everywhere we turned. Something wasn't right, I could feel it. Hollows should be swarming the area if the details given to me were correct. There was no sign of Irina anywhere and it was beginning to worry me. Arisa narrowed her eyes, concentrating on the task at hand.

The ripples in the dimension appeared behind her. I reached out and pulled her back swiftly, just as the first hollow appeared. My hand instinctively came to the hilt of my sword. The roar revealed the surge in power this creature possessed. "Stay on guard, Arisa. There could be more." I ordered.

"Yes, sir." She replied with a trembling voice.

The hollow lunged with an open mouth; but before it reached us, a blade severed right through it. Black dust started to blow away into nothing and in its place stood Irina. Her long ebony hair messy and her uniform ripped in several places. It made wonder what exactly happened to her. She was panting, clearly out of breath. "Irina...are you...okay?" Arisa asked hesitantly taking steps towards her.

"I'm...fine..." She answered taking a single step in our direction before collapsing to a knee.

"You are not fine, Irina. What happened?" I asked kneeling down in front of her.

She looked up from the ground, capturing my eyes in an instant. The moment, however, didn't last. She pushed me aside with the tip of her zanpakuto pointed outward. Another cry of a hollow filled the night. Getting to my feet, I pulled my own blade from its sheath. I leapt into the air before coming down, cutting the beast in half. She couldn't do everything herself. What kind of Captain would I be if I let her do that? "Captain..." Irina breathlessly called.

"Yes..."

"Something is wrong here. The hollows seem to be just waiting with only one target in mind. Me..."

She fell forward. In a flash, I caught her in my arms. Her breathing was labored as my arms scooped her up, holding her bridal style. We needed to find a safe place to treat her wounds. Going back to the Soul Society was out of the question now. The Head Captain would expect the job to be done and he wouldn't care that Irina was injured.

Arisa led us through another thick set of woods, before coming across a large cavern. It was our best chance. She tweaked her kidō to create light. Inside the cave, there was nothing but limestone walls and running water, which was perfect. I gently laid Irina down on the ground, before turning to our other travel companion. "Will you gather wood? She's going to need warmth now."

"Of course."

Turning back towards Irina, I tweaked my own kidō for light. Ripping a large chunk of my shihakusho off, I dipped it into the cold water and placed it gently on the open wound on her shoulder. She hissed in pain, her eyes flying wide open. "Calm down, it's me..." I coaxed urging her to lay back down.

"Shinji..."She whispered.

"Shh...everything is fine."

"I'm sorry..."

Her apology startled me. I didn't expect her to say anything at all, because it was me that needed to apologize. She was only acting on her feelings and I pushed her away for the second time. My free hand cradled the side of her face, brushing my thumb across the warm flesh of her cheek. "There is no need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. It was I that did..."

Her eyes shifted, trying to capture mine fully. She gingerly reached up to curl her fingers around my hand. Her touch sparked all those feelings within me all over again. A smile tugged on her lips, curving them up. "I want...to know what this is..." She admitted pulling my hand away only to lace her fingers through mine.

"Irina..."

She forced herself it sit up, despite my objections not to. The blood had stopped flowing from the wound, that fact alone pleased me. Her hold on my hand grew tighter. "I got what I could, sir." Arisa announced stepping inside the cave.

 **Irina**

I immediately pulled my hand away and looked at the woman, who was probably the only friend I've ever had. She gave me a questioning glance as she stepped passed me to sit down the bundle of wood in her arms. She pushed the branches together and in a matter of seconds her kidō caught them ablaze.

"That should get you warm soon enough." She said with a sweet smile.

"Thank you, Arisa." I said shivering, just realizing just how cold I really was now that Shinji wasn't close anymore.

"No problem at all. I'll be outside keeping watch if you need me."

I wanted to tell her that I was sorry for not being the teacher she deserved; but the words fled my mouth the moment she winked at me, obviously wanting me to sort things out with Shinji. Sliding closer to the fire, the mixture of colors danced in a beautiful collaboration. Once my injuries healed, really healed, I was going to show her everything possible. She deserved so much more than she was currently getting.

A warm embrace landed on my shoulders, snapping me out of my personal thoughts. I realized Shinji had draped his haori over my arms. The white fabric was indeed beautiful and smelled of him. "Thank you..."

"You're welcome."

Shinji sat down next to me, taking my hand back into his own. Another smile washed over me. It took everything I had not to lean into him or steal the kiss my body so desperately wanted. The crackling of the wood in the flames was soothing and hid the blush on my cheeks well. "I don't know what this is...and I don't know what to do about it. I am your Captain, it's completely inappropriate."

"I think we both know you don't really care about that."

"You're right...I don't..."

I turned to look at him, now realizing that his face was so close to mine. The words I wanted to say completely vanished from my tongue. The flames reflected against the amber color of his eyes. This man will be the death of me and I still didn't understand why I was so drawn to him.

His warm breath caressed me, making it that much harder to resist. Leaning in as if my body had a mind of its own, he met me inch for inch until our lips finally connected. A new world exploded around me and the way his mouth felt on mine was a feeling I'd never forget. My stomach tightened just as my fingers did on his uniform. He held onto me ever so gently and every movement of his lips against mine sent another wave of emotions flooding though my very being.

"Irina..." He whispered breaking away.

"I know...it can't happen again, right?"

He smiled a large toothy grin. Something was going on inside that head of his and I wanted to know what it was. Why did these feelings appear? Why the hell is my heart pounding so hard? Damnit! This was all new to me. "Actually, I was going to say how amazing that was." He said with a soft chuckle.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author Note: Thanks goes to thunderyoshi for the wonderful review. Thanks also goes to Therjj, animefairy299 and KirikaAndo for becoming followers to this story. I apologize for the delay in update. I was really sick and now that I'm all better, my first thought was to get another chapter out for all of you wonderful readers.**

Chapter 11:

 **Shinji**

With her closeness, it was making it really hard to concentrate on anything else. She made me forget why I stayed away from her so long, which was something that couldn't happen. I needed to remember why and the reason why she'd never be fully mine, because the second she learned the truth about how her family died...she'd leave.

The flames flickered against the color of her eyes, expressing her vulnerability to me. She was opening up to me and all I could do was stare at her. Her hand reached out to touch the skin of my cheek, taking in her bottom lips. "Shinji..."

"You don't need to say anything. I've learned that things happen when they are meant to."

Irina dropped her hand to rest it upon her lap. Her emotions quickly became unreadable, as if she was turning away from me. I knew that I should have said something more; but nothing was going to change the facts. We couldn't be anything more than Captain and subordinate. I would only hurt her in the end.

Standing up from the ground, I began to walk in the direction of Arisa outside the cave. Turning back only once, I could see her hold onto my coat for dear life and fall to the ground. She used her arm as a pillow as her eyes stared into the flickering flames. Closing my eyes, I walked the rest of the way out of the cave.

"You are relieved, Arisa." I stated.

She turned to look at me with her soft brown eyes. A protective glimmer radiated off them just as I took a step closer to her. She obviously had heard some of what happened between Irina and I. It didn't really come as too much of a surprise considering how close they seemed to have become over the last week. "You care about her...so I don't understand why would do that..." She stated clenching her hand on the fabric of her uniform.

"It's complicated and not really any of your business."

"It most certainly is my business!" Arisa said defensively.

"I'm not going to argue with you. Just do what you are told and go inside...now."

Her eyes furrowed harshly. I could tell she was upset with me; but she did flee from her spot to return to the cave. Sitting down alone, my mind replayed the kiss over and over again. I didn't know when Irina became someone so important. She just was and there was no way I was going to drag her down into the darkness that dwelled within me. She was better than that and deserved so much more.

 **Irina**

Hearing footsteps come back inside the cave, my heart pounded against my chest in hopes that it was Shinji; but when I sat up and saw that it was Arisa, my heart dropped...returning to its normal pace. She sat down next to me, taking my hand into her own. "He's so complicated." She stated pulling her legs up against her chest.

"It's fine. Maybe it's best this way...he is after all our Captain."

"That shouldn't matter. Emotions are what matter."

"Sometimes it's not enough..."

Arisa opened her mouth to protest. The words never came out. She knew on some level that I was right. I was a prime example. I grew up never knowing my parents. They left me in the Rukon to be raised by people that felt sorry. Emotions played a big part of that. Did they feel guilty of leaving me or did they never care at all?

During the night, I awoke to find Arisa asleep on the ground next to me and the fire just a slow burning ember. My body felt stiff but otherwise pretty healed. Arisa must have done some healing while I was asleep. A smile crept to my lips as I stood up. Taking my first steps towards the entrance of the cave, a sudden feeling of dread washed over me. That's when I felt it...Shinji's spiritual pressure.

Outside of the cave, he was nowhere to be seen. His spiritual pressure was all over the place. My hand instinctively went straight to the hilt of my zanpakuto. Closing my eyes, I concentrated as his energy. It was entwined with several hollow ones and when I finally located his strand, I didn't waste any time getting to him.

His long blonde hair shifted with every swing of his sword. Though I wondered why he didn't release his Shikai with so many surrounding him. He swung again, slicing through the center of the head. It's body started to disintegrate. I could tell he was beginning to tire. Panting for breath was a sure indication of that.

"Tell us where the girl is, soul reaper." One asked with a snarl of his oversized jaw.

"Go to hell..." Shinji snapped.

"Then you will die along with her." Another stated closing in on him.

I pulled Eakattā free from her sheath. The hollows wanted me so that was exactly what they were going to get. Slipping in unnoticed, I swung my blade to sever the head of a single hollow before landing on my feet in front of my Captain. "Foolish woman, just for that we will make your death extremely painful."

"Oh please, spare me your pointless threats."

A shiver ran up my spine knowing Shinji's eyes were on me. I turned my head slightly to meet his gaze. Blood trickled down from his forehead, dripping into his eye. He wanted to argue my presence being there that much I could tell; however, I think he knew that I wasn't going to listen. Tightening my grip on Eakattā, I twisted my body up into the air before coming down upon another unsuspecting hollow blocking my path.

A clawed hand nearly connected with my ribs had it not been for Shinji's interference. His blade cut the limb right off the body, giving me the opening to end its life completely. One after another lost the pointless effort in killing me. Once the last one faded away, I stood in front of my Captain, ready to hear the punishment I would no doubt receive.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He asked wiping away the blood on his face.

"I wasn't about to let you fight them alone. They were after me, not you."

"That was reckless and beyond foolish. You could have gotten yourself killed."

I took several steps in his direction. My heart pounded on the inside and it took everything I had not to kiss him. He was treating me like a child that constantly needed protection and that was far from being the truth. "Would that even matter to you? I did what I felt was right?" I said just before I walked out around him to return to the cave Arisa rested in.

"Irina..." He called after me.

Ignoring it, I continued on towards the cave only to find Shinji standing outside of it with his arms crossed over his chest. Irritation clearly written on his face. He blocked my entrance and I had no choice but to look at him again. His amber eyes locked with mine, causing my body to react as if he was touching me. My mind immediately went back to his lips upon mine and how it sparked a fire deep within me. "Let me inside, please." I said hoping he's just step aside.

"It would matter to me if you got killed." He admitted refusing to step aside and grant my entrance.

"I understand that; but I'm a soul reaper. It's my job to fight the hollows and protect my Captain; so will you please stop treating me like this fragile thing that can't fight her own battles."

"Irina.."

"Don't...you've said what you needed to earlier."

In a matter of seconds, he was inches away from my face. His warm breath tickling the skin of my cheek, keeping me frozen in place. He had made it pretty clear that we weren't going to be anything more that what we were now. "You aren't fragile. You are strong willed and are willing to fight for those you care for. There is nothing more powerful that that."

"Shinji..."

"I'm bad for you, Irina..."

His words caught me completely off guard. I didn't understand why he thought he was bad for me. As far as I knew, he had done nothing to hurt me; but the way he was looking at me, he believed that he did. "Don't say that. How could you be bad if you're the one who saved me all those years ago."

I reached out to him, placing my hand on his face. A gesture I was all too familiar with at this point. He took my hand and pulled it away from his cheek, though he didn't let go of it nor did he push me away. We stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. "There are things you don't know about that night." He said in a hushed whisper that seemed like it pained him to even say aloud.

"I was there Shinji. I lived that hellish nightmare. What is there that I don't know?"

At this point, he was starting to scare me with the lowering of his voice. He was purposely doing it so Arisa would hear nothing, which scared me even more. His beautiful eyes held such regret. It got me thinking. Did he blame himself for what happened to my family? There was no other explanation for what I was currently seeing displayed on his face. "I was so young and stupid...drunk with power fresh off my promotion to Captain..."

"You blame yourself for my family, don't you?"

"If you knew the extent, you'd blame me to."

"My god! That was fifty years ago...way too long to hold onto that much guilt."

After the words left my mouth, he instantly let go of my hand and took several steps away from me. The long locks of his hair hide his expression from my sight and all I wanted to do was reach for him once more; but I knew he wasn't going to let that happen. "I let them die. My unit wanted me to signal for the attack and I did nothing...I froze upon seeing such a calculated massacre up close like that."

"Shinji...you did nothing wrong. Everyone freezes up. I have...Arisa has...we all have one time or another. You can't blame yourself for that one mistake."

"It is not okay!" He yelled.

I swallowed hard. I didn't know what else to tell him for him to belive that really was okay. That I didn't blame him for what happened. He saved me and others in the village. That night might have been a nightmare; but he gave me the opportunity to do what I never had the courage to do before. "Go wake Arisa, we are leaving for home shortly." He ordered.

"Okay..."

Walking passed him, a single tear rolled down my cheek. What he told me did hurt; but being angry at him wouldn't bring them back...nothing would. My ever growing feelings for him also dulled the anger that I would have no doubt felt if he meant nothing to me. I knew that things were going to be even more tense than they were before. He was going to avoid me at all costs, even send me away to a different squad. _**"Don't think things like that."**_ Eakattā's voice echoed inside my head.

" _ **You know you thought it to, don't lie."**_ I argued.

Entering the cave, Arisa was already awake folding our Captain's haori that I had left behind. She looked up at me and her eyes widened in shock. "What happened? You've been crying." She asked frantically.

"It's nothing. Captain wanted me to come get you. We are going home." I said doing my best to hide the hurt I was currently feeling.

"Irina...tell me what's wrong."

"When we get home, I'll explain it all to you. I promise..."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author Note: Thanks goes to EaSnowPw and thunderyoshi for the wonderful reviews. Thanks also goes to SmilesAreln, Lil-B-Rebel and Narwhale Sweq for becoming followers to this story. On to the next chapter and don't hesitate to let me know what you think.**

Chapter 12:

 **Irina**

My fears were justified. Shinji did exactly what I thought he'd do with the exception of sending me to another squad. Arisa's training was important to him, so keeping me around to do the job was only logical. Though, I wouldn't lie about how much it hurt to be ignored...it did serve as a reminder that no matter what I did, it would never be good enough.

"Irina!" A voice called.

I was too engulfed in my thoughts to snap out of them. It's been over a month since that night the truth came out. He spoke to me only when he had to, which wasn't very often at all. My days consisted of waking up, training sessions with Arisa and then paperwork with an occasional after work drink.

"Earth to Irina!" The voice called again.

This time it finally snapped me out of my thoughts. Arisa stood hovering over my prone body in the grass. I must have fallen asleep on the hillside that overlooked the Rukon District. Her cinnamon hair dangled over my stomach, while her eyes searched mine looking for some kind of answer as to what I was doing. "What's up, Arisa?" I asked sitting up in my place.

"You didn't show up for training today. I was worried, so I came looking for you." She answered.

"I'm sorry. I must have lost track of time..."

She shifted to sit down next to me. Her legs were pulled up against her chest. I knew she wanted to ask me something; but there was hesitation, which meant it had something to do with out Captain. It wasn't easy for me to talk about him. All it did was bring back the memory of that night in the living world. "I know you want to say something, so just say it." I said softly.

Her bottom lip curled inward as she nervous tried to come up with a way to express what was on her mind. Arisa's mouth opened to speak only for it to be cut off by someone else's voice. A familiar male one. I looked up to see him approaching us. My former rival in the Academy, Rin Tosei. "I hope I'm not interrupting something important." He stated stopping mere inches away from us.

"Nothing pressing. What brings you to the realm of Squad Five, Rin?" I asked with a coy smile pressed to my lips.

I was pretty sure Arisa was confused at this point. It wasn't her fault that I hadn't gotten around to telling her about my Academy days yet. Rin actually returned my smile and quite possibly a slight blush had tinted his cheeks as well. "My Captain sent me with a letter for Captain Hirako. I need to deliver it; but I have no idea where I'm going."

"We could show you." Arisa said interrupting the conversation.

"That would be much appreciated." He replied.

Arisa smiled at me. Great, she thought he was cute. This was her way of flirting. Over the last month, I've learned just about everything with this girl and the fact that she was totally guy crazy ninety percent of the time. Rolling my eyes discreetly, I stood up only to stumble a step. Rin held out his arms to steady me. That same curious look from before drilled right through me. It unnerved me completely, to the point that I stepped away instantly.

"So how do you know Irina?" Arisa asked tucking hair behind her ear.

"We went to the Academy together." He answered beginning to walk next to her.

We walked the pathways. They conversed about little things and Arisa was enjoying every second of the attention. In that moment, I felt almost envious of how things came naturally to the woman that was literally my only friend. Shinji's face came to mind and instantly broke me all over again. _**"I promise things will get better."**_ Eakattā said hopeful in her advice.

" _ **I really hope you're right. This hurts more than physical pain and I don't understand why..."**_ I answered blinking away the burning sensation of forming tears.

Shinji's office came into view. Arisa was still busy talking away until my elbow connected with her arm. Turning to look at me, she knew what to do next. Excusing herself, she walked to the door to announce our arrival. "She's energetic." Rin commented turning to look at me.

"Ha, yeah that's Arisa for ya. She means well though."

"You've changed. I know that heartbroken look all too well. What happened?"

"Let's just say I was the fool to think that anything good would ever come to my life."

Arisa returned before Rin could say anything else on the subject. I remained silent the entire, few feet, trip to our Captain's office. He sat behind his desk working on the nearest stack of papers. His long blonde hair fell over his shoulders, giving his features an edge that caused my heart to race uncontrollably. "This is Rin Tosei from Squad Eight." Arisa announced allowing me the dignity to stay quiet.

"How is that Captain of yours? Still drinking?" Shinji asked without bothering to look up from the desk.

"Oh yes, drinking is an everyday routine." Rin answered looking from me to my Captain and then back to me. Was he trying to piece what I said together.

"Sounds like him. So what brings you here?"

With that said, he finally looked up from his work. Our eyes met almost instantly before he broke the contact to look at the visitor in the eye. Rin stood next to me with only a few inches separating us. The amber color of his eyes darkened as if he was jealous of Rin's closeness to me. That fact alone was almost humorous.

 **Shinji**

I should have know when Arisa showed up that Irina would be with her. It was rare for them not to be together. The sight of her almost took my breath away. I was doing everything in my power to stay away from her and sometimes that just didn't happen. When I did see her, the brokenhearted look on her face was the only thing I could see.

"Captain Kyoraku asked me to deliver this letter to you personally." Rin said taking steps away from Irina to hand me the piece of paper.

Once the paper was in my hand, I read the contents thoroughly. The man was asking for help since his Lieutenant, Lisa Yadomaru, was on an extensive mission. The paperwork was really behind and he emphasized on the word really. Laying the paper down, I looked at the three of them trying to decide what to do.

On one hand, I could send Irina to help; but then I'd be giving this guy from Shunsui's squad an opportunity to get close to her. On the other hand, I could send Arisa. Then Irina wouldn't have anything to do for a while, which would result in my seeing her more often.

"It turns out Captain Kyoraku is asking for help around the office. His lieutenant is on an extensive mission and the work in piling up. The question is, which one of you two wants to do it?" I asked. Since I couldn't decide myself, I'd let them do it.

Irina narrowed her eyes and snorted softly. Her legs carried her forward several steps before stopped right at the edge of my desk. The building anger reflected in those ocean blue eyes I loved so much. She had such fire and it made my mission to stay away even harder. "Why don't you just send me, Captain. I know damn well that's what you want to do anyway..."

"Irina!" Arisa shouted in protest.

Her choice of words might have gotten her in trouble with most of the other Captains; but with me...she was only speaking from a broken heart. I couldn't fault her for that. Rin reached out to take Irina's hand and pull her away from my desk. Her spiritual pressure rolled across my skin, silently telling me that she was by no means happy with me. "Arisa, would you be willing to do this?" I asked.

"Of course, Captain." She answered turning towards Irina's cowering form.

"Great, then the assignment is yours. Rin, it's been a pleasure. Give my regards to your Captain."

"I will do that, sir."

Rin gave a half-smile before turning towards the two women behind him. Irina's hands were clenched into fists at her sides. The anger dwelling inside was caused by me and it had to be me to erase it. "Irina a word, please." I said just as she was almost out the door.

"Come on..." Arisa said to Rin.

"Will she be okay?" He asked. As if I'd hurt her, that guy was getting on my nerves.

"I think they need to talk. It's complicated." Complicated doesn't begin to describe it.

Irina returned to my office, leaving them behind; but she kept her distance, rightfully so considering how things happened in the world of the living. Everything I've done only confused her and ultimately led me to break her heart in the end. "Irina, this was not how I wanted things to be."

"I did everything to convince you that what happened in the past didn't matter; but the only thing you did was push me away. It's been a month and I've accepted that his is how things will be."

Her voice cut in and out, revealing to me that she was trying not to cry in front of me. Everything about the situation hurt more than I thought it would. Why did it hurt to see her this way? Why did I want to kiss her again? Why did I just want her in my life? "How can you be so forgiving?" I asked.

"It wans't about forgiveness. You froze, just like we all do at least once in our lives as Soul Reapers. Nothing can change that. I don't hold any of that against you..."

She turned to walk away, not allowing me to say anything else. I gave no chase, because I had no doubt that she wanted to say goodbye to Arisa before her now temporary position would begin. Sitting alone at my desk got me thinking, which was something I didn't want to do. "You really are a dumbass aren't you." Hyori's voice entered the room.

"Piss off! I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

A chuckle escaped her throat as her form came into my line of sight. This was no what I wanted to do today. I've already lost the one person that made me want to atone for the past. I didn't need her to rub salt in my wounds. "I have some information for you thanks to my annoying new Captain." She stated.

 **Irina**

Running was what I did best and that's exactly what I did to catch up with Arisa. She stood with Rin talking. Her hands moved all over the place, explaining things I couldn't hear. The closer I got the better the voices came into range. It was nice to see her smile again. She's been so caught up in my own problems, leaving her little time for her to be who she was.

The tears I had been holding back were now rolling down my cheeks. Quickly wiping them away, I approached them silently. "Irina..." Arisa greeted hesitantly.

"Are you alright?" Rin asked looking right into my eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Rina, don't lie to me. He has hurt you again, hasn't he?"

I held my hand up to stop her. There was no need to talk about this before something good was to happen to her. Everything didn't need to be about my emotions. "Don't worry about it. I came to say goodbye." I stated taking the rest of the steps needed to close the distance between us.

"Rina..."

"When did you come up with that name for me?"

A laugh erupted from her throat before wrapping her arms around my taller frame. Accepting the gesture, I looked at Rin. Though I knew he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her, I had to make sure he understood that Arisa was family to me. "Take care of her. If anything happens to her, remember that I can hurt you and I will hurt you." I threatened.

"Understood! Take care, Irina. She will be just fine." He replied with a smile.

Arisa stepped back and started her journey to Squad Eight with Rin. The sheer feeling of being alone took over. Maybe I'd just ask Lieutenant Aizen if he could give me something to do. I had to stay busy or I was going to lose my mind. Walking down the wooden pathway, the sun was beginning to set in the distance and rain clouds moved in rapidly. "What do I do now..." I whispered to myself.

Leaning against the railing that surrounded the large pond in the courtyard, I could see sprinkles of rain hit the water causing ripples to spread outward. It didn't take long for the sprinkles to turn into a full downpour. Listening to the sounds, I calmed down from the earlier conversation with Shinji that resulted in absolutely nothing. Arisa was gone for however long, so I had nothing left.

The rain came down harder and I soon felt the warm tears roll down my cheeks once more. Why did this hurt so much? Why did I let him in when I knew nothing would come of it? The longer I thought about it, the more the answer became clearer to me.

"Irina..." His voice called.

Turning my head slightly, I could see Shinji standing there with the most sorrowful eyes I'd ever seen him possess. Did all of this hurt him as much as it hurt me? Did he feel anything at all about what's been happened between us? I felt utterly helpless to stop my heart from wanting him. "What are you doing here?" I asked retuning my head to look at the rain.

His footsteps were soft; but I could still hear them closing in. My heart started the racing process all over again. The second his hand covered mine did the electrical numbness return. His touch was something I needed; but it was something else entirely that I wanted. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings." He apologized.

"You did more than that, Shinji." I replied pulling my hand away.

"I know..."

His voice trailed off into a faded whisper. The regret was obvious now; but it still didn't change the facts, he had done something no other man has been able to do. Break me down. The golden amber of his eyes lingered upon me, giving me pleasurable chills up my spine. Going against all logic, I turned to face him again.

Shinji stood inches away probably contemplating whether or not I was worth the effort. There was a confused glimmer about him. _**"Don't run. Face this, Irina."**_ Eakattā encouraged. I hated that she was right. I had to face this now, because it wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

 **Shinji**

She was absolutely beautiful standing in front of me. The semi-clouded moonlight shined down on her ebony hair. The sound of rainfall was all the more soothing to the self-loathing rage I've been feeling over the last month. Irina hadn't deserved the treatment I had given. It was all my fault in the first place. My mind went back to her blood coated face and her shivering body fifty years prior. Nothing would ever wipe that image clean of my head.

"I didn't come to hurt you more than I already have." I admitted.

"Then why are you here?"

"Some information came into my possession about your birth family. I...didn't know those people weren't really your parents..."

"No...they weren't; but they took me in as their own."

The sadness in her eyes returned. When Hyori told me what Kisuke Urahara, her new Captain, discovered I was completely dumbfounded; but at the same time, it made perfect sense. The connection was too odd to be anything but a relation. "Why does my past matter to you? You've made it pretty clear that I mean nothing at all to you." She said curling her fingers around the wood railing.

"Is that what you think?"

Forgetting about the whole reason I came, I reached out to take a firm hold on her hand and with my other hand I forced her to look at me. How could she think that she meant nothing to me? On the contrary, it was the polar opposite of that. "How can I not think that? You've done everything you could to erase what happened between us in the world of the living."

"I didn't erase it...that's the problem...I care too much..."

Dragging a single finger down her cheek to lift her chin up, I drew her face in a little closer so I could feel her warm breath on my flesh. Her eyes were frantically searching mine for answers and the only thing I wanted to do was kiss her endlessly. "Shinji..." She whispered my name, enticing me further.

My walls were crumbling with every second she was near. The pad of my thumb brushed her bottom lip briefly. My mind was screaming at me to stop; but my heart was winning this battle. Tucking my fingers through the hair behind her head, I pressed my lips against hers.

She stiffened instantly until her own wall shattered and her arms wrapped themselves around my neck, pulling me closer. I backed her up against the wall outside her quarters. Hands traveled down her sides, feeling every curve as my lips left to nip at the sensitive skin between her collarbone and her neck.

"Shinji..." She called softly.

My name rolling off her lips only served as a conduit to more desire for her. I captured those lips once again, tasting her tongue at the same time and still wanting more of her. This wasn't enough, it never would be enough until she was mine fully. "Irina..." I whispered breaking the connection.

Her lust coated eyes opened to meet my gaze. Good god, what did I do to be able to touch this perfect woman? Irina smiled which coaxed my own smile out. Our foreheads rested against each other as we tried to regain normal breathing. "I don't want to hurt you anymore." I expressed.

"Then don't..." She replied sliding open the door that led straight into her private quarters.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author Note: Thanks goes to thunderyoshi and EaSnowPw for the reviews. I'd also like to thank Angelic Reaper13 for becoming a follower to this story. I apologize for the way the last one ended and the delay in updates. I've kind of been hitting a roadblock in ideas. So I've decided this will be the last chapter. I may return with new chapter later on down the road; but until then, this will be the grand finale. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for taking the time to read.**

Chapter 13:

 **Irina**

"Don't you want to know about what I've learned...concerning your family?" Shinji asked following me inside my private quarters.

"Not particularly." I answered honestly.

There was no point in hiding my anger about the subject. They had abandoned me, leaving me to the terrors of the Rukon District. I had been lucky that there was people that actually gave a damn what happened to me. It wasn't so much that I didn't want to hear him say what he knew...it was the fact that I already knew where my blood came from. The birthmark on the inside of my wrist was a sure indication where I came from.

Shinji reached for my hand, stopping me from cleaning what little was laying around. Cleaning was my way of avoiding what was on hand or if I simply didn't want to talk about the subject entirely. He forced me to look at him. There was a softness behind his amber eyes to seemed to calm the rage deep inside. He didn't know that I knew and I couldn't take my frustration out of him. "I've just come to terms with what happened a long time ago. There is no point in opening up old wounds when they are healed enough already." I explained hoping that he'd understand.

"Okay...I won't push you; but if you want to know...all you have to do is ask."

"Thank you."

I moved around him to sit down on the sofa, curling my legs against my chest. With a half smile, he sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders...pulling me closer. My head rested on his own shoulder. It was the comfort that I've only dreamt of having. We remained silent for a lengthy period of time with the only sound being our breathing. There was a lot of things I wanted to ask him. Like, what was our relationship? Or, what were we going to do about the squad finding out? There was a moment when I thought that him pushing my away was the best option, that it would have been easier on both of us in the long run. As it turned out, my heart won that war against logical thinking.

"So what now?" I asked lifting my head back up.

"Honestly, I don't know. There is a lot to sort through. I have to learn to forgive myself first."

"I told you that I forgave you. Why is it so hard for you to forgive yourself?"

He let out a sigh, closing his eyes in the process. I wanted to understand his resistance in forgiving himself, since I already had. That night was no ones fault and I needed him to see that. His blonde hair fell over his shoulders when he leaned forward. "Because you lost people that meant so much to you...I'll never get the look on your face that night out of my head. It's haunted me for last fifty years."

"Is that why you kept a watch on me?"

"Mostly...I never thought, in doing so, I'd develop feelings for you."

The moment he admitted that he had feelings for me, my heart accelerated. Growing up, I had always been the outcast. The shunned one. The one that never drew any kind of attention good or bad. That was until I started in the academy. Everyone hated me there; but the man before me had showered me with attention right from the beginning. I felt out of place and outside of my comfort zone, even though I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. "What's so special about me? I'm as ordinary as it gets, Shinji."

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean truly looked."

He looked around the room until he spotted the wall mirror heading into my bedroom. Instantly standing up, he reached for my hand and pulled up. Following him to the mirror, he put me in front of him with my back against his chest. I looked at my reflection. My long black hair curled over my shoulders at the ends and my ocean blue eyes shimmered against the pale lighting in the room. There was a small scar from where my latest set of injuries had occurred just above my collarbone.

Shinji wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his head forward so his chest was resting on my shoulder. Kissing my cheek once, he nuzzled against the curve of my neck. I could only stare at the mirror and see for myself the emotions the coursed through us both. "You are beautiful, Irina. Regardless of what you may think, there is no one more suited for my heart." He started. My body heated up with every word spoken.

"You are the most selfless person I have ever met and without even knowing who Arisa was...you took her under your wing and taught her everything you possibly could." He finished.

"I think you give me too much credit. I was only doing what I felt was the right thing to do."

"Maybe so; but it shows everyone what kind of person you are. I know the squad loves you, including my annoying Lieutenant."

I had to laugh at his comment. From what I could tell, Shinji never really liked his Lieutenant at all. Rightfully so I guess. Anytime I ever spoke to him, I got chills and not very good ones either. Talking about Arisa, made me miss her. She was going to be gone a while, because knowing how Captain Kyoraku was...there would be a mountain of paper work to do.

Turning around in his arms, he leaned me back against the mirror. The lust had returned to his eyes with a hint of curiosity. "I know you said that you didn't want to know about your family; but I feel that you need to know about Arisa."

"I already know, Shinji."

"Come again..."

He looked at me completely confused. It came as no surprise to me, considering I never told anyone what I knew about my biological family...not even Arisa. Looking down at the floor, I tried to hide from him or at least pretend that his eyes were on me intensively. "Shinji, I've known for a while who my biological parents were. When I was old enough to know the parents that raised me weren't really mine, I went looking."

"How are you so calm about this? I'd be so fucking pissed, if I were you."

"I was at first; but as I said before, the wounds have healed enough. I haven't said anything because I didn't want Arisa to think any less of her family."

"She deserves to know who you are. Don't you think she would want to know that you're her sister?"

Thinking about it that way, she did deserve to know; but at this point in time, I wasn't ready to be the one to deliver that kind of information to her. Shinji leaned in, resting his forehead against mine. "I'll tell her eventually; but not now. I don't want her view of me to change."

"Okay. The secret is safe with me."

"Thank..."

My words were cut short by his lips crashing down upon mine. At first, it caught me completely off guard; but I quickly fell into the emotions and pushed myself deeper into the kiss. Eakattā whispered her approval inside my head, which made me smile on the inside. Holding onto both sides of my face, he slipped his tongue through my parted lips.

My whole world exploded. In matter of weeks this man had become one the most important people in my life. It wasn't about him being my Captain, it was about my feelings for him. I loved him and no matter what the next step was in our relationship, I'd be there with him. "I should go..." He whispered breaking the connection.

"Shinji..."

"Hmm..."

"Please stay."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, love."

Returning to my side, he smiled. If he was worried about what the other squad members would think, I honestly didn't care what they thought; but it didn't seem like that was the problem. Maybe he didn't trust himself or it was about the forgiveness thing. "Don't pout, I'll stay another day; but everything is new and we should ease the squad into things. Get some sleep, Irina. I will see you in the morning."

"Okay."

He kissed me again before walking out my home. Standing alone in the room that seems so big at this point. The warmth was gone; but his scent was all over me, comforting me enough to move to my room. The night was in full force and the exhaustion was threatening to take over. After everything I've been through over the years, now for the first time...I can live without wondering what was next. Its all thanks to my stubborn Captain Shinji Hirako, the man whom I've fallen in love with.


End file.
